


Stages of Loss

by Scrapmom2112



Category: Glee
Genre: Anger, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Romance, M/M, Reunited and It Feels So Good
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-29
Updated: 2016-04-04
Packaged: 2018-05-10 06:50:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 39,663
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5575555
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Scrapmom2112/pseuds/Scrapmom2112
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When you experience loss, whether it be though death or just a break up, you go through 5 stages: grief, denial, anger, bargaining, depression & acceptance. After their break-up, Blaine went through all these stages of loss except one, anger. Somehow he'd skipped that stage...until Kurt came back to town to win him back. No BA/DK! Klaine endgame. See author's note for more.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Skipping a Stage

**Author's Note:**

> This story sort of follows canon up to when Kurt came back to Ohio. I did not actually watch the first 4 episodes of season 6 because I couldn't subject myself to seeing Blaine with Kurofsky. I did read some things about what happened, but do not know word for word what was said when they broke up at the restaurant and do not know exactly how everything else went down, so I just made things up the way I think they might have happened.
> 
> Also, in my story, as you'll see soon enough, Blaine did not get together with Kurofsky, although he is does make an appearance in this story. While I do not like his character, I do think that after he what happened to him, he did change. That being said, even though Kurt forgave him, I still do not think Blaine would have EVER gotten together with him. That is one thing about canon that will never be true for me.
> 
> Sorry about the long author's note and I hope I haven't lost you all yet. This story will be angsty. I have no idea why I continue to write angsty fics, but that's just what comes out when I sit down to write. They always take longer too, because it's so hard to write them not being together. And, as always, in my fics Klaine is endgame! So be patient and be prepared for pain, hurt, angst, and love.

Stages of Loss

When you experience loss, whether it be though death or just a break up, you go through these 5 stages of loss/grief, denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance.

After the break-up 6 months ago, Blaine went through the stages of loss, but his stages went completely out of order. The denial was first, coupled with the bargaining. There's no way that just happened, he thought. He was just upset. He'll come back and everything will be fine. If I stay away for the night, then tomorrow things will be calmer and we can talk. Except that's not what happened.

Kurt actually left and wouldn't answer Blaine's calls or texts. It was like he didn't exist anymore, and that's what led him to the depression. And he fell deep into it. So deep that he ignored everything in his life, leading him to get kicked out NYADA and have to move home.

After 6 months and with the help of his family, the Warbler's, and his wonderful therapist, he'd finally moved on to acceptance.

Unfortunately, there was one stage he had yet to encounter, and that was anger. Was he angry, sure, but did he hold anger toward Kurt? He didn't think so. He blamed himself for everything. It was something he'd always done. He strove to be the perfect son, the perfect student, the perfect friend and boyfriend and also the perfect fiancée. He was still working with a therapist now and she was helping him to feel normal again, and he was finally making progress. Until Rachel dropped a bomb on him.

Chapter 1

Skipping a Stage

Rachel had come to Dalton to have lunch with him. A regular occurrence since they'd both moved back home. It was nice having a familiar face around, even though at first it was hard, because every time he looked at her, he saw Kurt. But they both needed that connection to their old lives, so they fell into a new found friendship that benefited them both.

Today, though, was turning out to be different. Because today she mentioned Kurt. More specifically that Kurt was back...in Ohio, and that he wanted to see Blaine. Every muscle in his body had ceased up when she said that and he froze.

"Blaine. Did you hear me?" She said, when he hadn't responded, his back to her, so she couldn't see his face. "Kurt's here. He feels really bad about everything and really misses you. He really sorry for how he treated you and wants to see you."

At the mention of Kurt, Blaine's body and mind went through a gamut of emotions and it took everything he had to keep himself together, but when she said he was sorry something in him snapped. In that moment, all the hurt, pain, self-loathing, depression, and self-deprecation took a back seat to something else, something stronger, something that had he'd hidden away...Anger.

Blaine spun around so abruptly that Rachel flinched and sat back in her seat.

"Oh, he's sorry is he?" He spit, his voice so cold Rachel shivered. "Well, he should have though about that before he ripped my heart out and ate it for breakfast."

Rachel leaned forward, her face a picture of calm, while underneath she was scared. She'd never seen Blaine like this. He was always so dapper. The voice of reason. It had been 6 months and she knew he'd been seeing a therapist, so she was surprised at his outburst. Apparently he hadn't worked out all of his issues.

"Blaine..." She tried to speak in a soothing voice. "I know it was a rough break-up, but he told me he realizes now how much of a mistake he made." She flinched again at the bark of a laugh he let out.

"A rough break-up? A rough...are you kidding me right now Rachel? I was devastated. I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep, I couldn't even function like a normal person. I fucking flunked out of school and had to move back home. And by that time, I cared so little that I tried to..." He stopped quickly, realizing what he'd almost revealed and shook his head to clear it. "And where was he during all this, huh? If he's so sorry and felt so bad, how could he have let me lose everything? It wasn't bad enough I lost my reason for living, but I lost my will to live too." With that, he leaned back against the desk, needing something to lean on if his legs gave out on him.

As Rachel listened to Blaine she began to see just how broken he was and her heart hurt. She'd sat with Kurt just last night and listened to him talk about what a mistake he'd made and how he knew Blaine was it for him and that he'd come to Ohio to win him back. She sympathized with him then and was happy because she knew the two boys belonged together. What she didn't know was how deeply hurt Blaine was...still.

And she had know exactly what Blaine had started to say to her and that gave her pause. How terrible of a friend she'd been...so wrapped up in herself that she hadn't seen how much they both had been hurting. She can't believe it had gone on so long, with both of them suffering so much.

She's know Kurt for a long time and she loved him, but he had really screwed up. She knew he had intimacy issues, but he and Blaine had been so perfect for each other. Sure, they'd had their disagreements, but she knew how much they loved each other.

So when Kurt broke up with Blaine, she was surprised. She figured it'd last a few weeks and they'd be back together, and she was so wrapped up in her own life that she hadn't given them a second thought. So when she moved back to Ohio after her show flopped, she and Blaine had gotten close again. She knew he'd been effected by the break-up, but he'd put on such a happy face, she thought he was honestly over it and moving on.

She knew what she had to do. She had to get her two best friends together. Whether or not they got back together or finally moved on, they needed to talk. They both were hurting so much and they just needed to sit down and put everything on the table once and for all.

She cautiously got up and moved toward Blaine, not touching him, but trying to show support. "I know you are still hurting and I'm really sorry that I haven't been here for you like I should." Blaine wouldn't look at her, keeping his eyes on the ground, but she saw his shoulders tighten and knew he was listening. "I know I just sprung this on you, so I understand if you need time..."

At that word, Blaine's head snapped up. "Time?" He seethed. "Time. I've had 6 long months of nothing but time."

"I know and I'm sorry." She interrupted, trying to keep him calm. "But I also think you both need to talk. You both need closure, either way." He was staring at her with such intensity she thought she'd catch fire.

Her words cut him to the core. Yes, he needed closure, but what did she mean either way? That was too final. Sure he was hurt and angry, but never once did he see himself with anyone other than Kurt. He was just planning to be. He was learning to survive without love and he was doing ok, for the most part. But he couldn't allow himself to look into the future. He had to just live day to day, or he wouldn't survive.

Every time he allowed himself to look forward and see his forever without Kurt, he'd fall back into that dark place where he'd almost ended it all. So he couldn't allow those thoughts. He lived in the moment, which was a change for him. He'd always have things planned out, but he had to reprogram his brain to just go with the flow, and that seemed to be working out for him.

But here was Rachel, telling him that Kurt was here and wanted to see him, and that just screwed everything up. He honestly didn't think he'd be able to handle seeing Kurt again. Hell, just hearing his name made every muscle in his body clench up.

But he needed to remain calm, so he pushed all his emotions and feelings down for a moment. He just had to wait for Rachel to leave before he could freak the fuck out. So he took a deep breath and straightened himself, putting on his Dalton mask and smiled at her.

"You're right, Rachel. We need closure. Tell him I'll be happy to meet with him. Just tell me when and where." It took everything in him to keep his voice calm and steady. He didn't want her to know how flustered he was.

"Oh Blaine, that's great! Thank you. He's going to be so glad to hear you agreed. He said he could meet you tonight at Scandals, if that's ok with you." She said, with a question in her voice.

Blaine's breathing hitched and he turned away toward the window so she couldn't see his face. "Sure." He breathed out, the anger in his belly trying to claw it's way out. Why the hell would he suggest Scandals to meet, he thought. That place has nothing but bad memories for us. Get it together, the voice said, I've got a plan.

"Tell him I can be there around 7:30, if that works for him." Blaine told Rachel, trying to quiet the voice in his head momentarily.

"I'll tell him, thank you." She said happily, unaware of the internal struggle Blaine was going through just a few feet away. "Now, about lunch."

"Actually, I'm going to have to beg out today. I'm sorry. I just forgot I have an afternoon meeting before Warbler's practice and I will probably just grab a quick sandwich on the way." He said, needing her to leave as soon as possible.

"Oh, ok." She said, her voice a little sad, and Blaine felt bad, he really did. But he needed her to leave before his body exploded with all the hurt and anger he was trying to keep inside. "Maybe next week?"

He took a breath and turned back to her, a soft smile on his face. "Yeah, next week for sure."

She smiled back and walked over, giving him a quick hug. She pulled back so quickly, she missed the way his body tensed at the human contact. He didn't like people touching him much anymore, but he had been getting better about that. This time he tensed because he was afraid if he allowed himself the comfort of a real Rachel Berry hug, he'd break, and he couldn't do that.

She grabbed her bag and headed toward the door, waving on her way out. It was only then that he allowed himself to breathe.

After Rachel left, Blaine grabbed his phone without even thinking and sent off a quick text.

'Lima Bean 3:00? I have a favor, please...'

Not a minute later he received a reply.

'Sure, see you then.'

Blaine had run into Dave at Scandals one evening. Before he started seeing his therapist, he'd go out and try to drink away the pain he was feeling. He told himself that he was trying to 'get back out there' but in reality, he just wanted to drink to forget how much he missed Kurt.

It was packed that night, but he recognized Dave right away, so he approached him and said hello. He remembered all the things that Dave had done to Kurt in high school, and was a little hesitant at first, but he could see that Dave was making strides to change. The two started hanging out and became friends, something Blaine desperately needed.

As he headed over to the Lima Bean, Blaine was burning with anger. All he could think about was how angry he was with Kurt. He did feel hurt, pain, or anything anymore. All he could fee was anger burning through every muscle in his body. All he could think of was 'I need to hurt Kurt the same way he hurt me. And what better way to do that than to make him think I'm dating his former bully.'

He arrived at the Lima Bean knowing this was going to be a tough sell, because Dave had changed. He was a decent guy now and he knew that Dave wasn't going to approve of his plan, but he was going to try to make it seem like he needed the help. So instead of telling him he was trying to hurt Kurt, he would tell him that he just needed somebody there to protect him and his heart, because he didn't want to get hurt again. He knew that was the only way Dave would agree.

When Rachel first brought up the possibility of the two of them meeting up, he was adamantly against it. There was no way he could sit across the table from the boy who ripped his whole world apart, but the more angry he became, the more he was able to formulate a plan, and Dave was going to fit right into it.

As he stood outside the Lima Bean, he took a deep breath to calm himself. He didn't need Dave suspecting anything. He put a fake smile on, his Dalton Mask, as he liked to call it, opened the door, ready to set his plan in motion.

Dave looked up when he saw Blaine. "Hey man, how's it going?"

"Good." Blaine said, smiling. "I'm just going to grab a coffee." He said, heading toward the counter as Dave nodded. As Blaine stood in line, he went over everything he wanted to say in he head. 'Just tell him you don't think you can handle seeing him alone. He knows. You've talked about how you feel. Tell him you just need his support. Just make him believe.'

By the time Blaine got his coffee and took his seat across from Dave, he had convinced himself that this was the right thing to do.

"So man, what's up?" Dave asked.

"Not much," Blaine said, trying to act casual. "Pretty good day at school."

"How's that singing group coming?" Dave asked, and Blaine laughed.

"The Warbler's?" Dave shrugged and nodded. "Coming along well, I think." Blaine answered. "We have a ways to go, but we're on the right track." There was a pause in the conversation and Blaine took a drink of his coffee before going in for the kill. "So, I kind of have a favor..."

"You mentioned that in your text. What kind of favor are we talking?"

"Well," Blaine said, drawing out the word a little. "It's kind of weird and I hope you will agree, but it's kind of over the top and off the wall and may put you in an awkward position, but I'm really, really hoping you'll agree, because I just don't know if I can..."

"Hey." Dave said, smacking his hand on the table to get Blaine's attention. "Dude, chill ok? Just tell me what you want and I'll see if I can do it."

Blaine took a deep breath, straightened his shoulders and began speaking. "Kurt's back in town." Dave's eyebrows shot up and Blaine didn't miss the look of sympathy on his face.

"Oh man, I'm sorry. Have you seen him yet?" He asked, concern evident in his voice.

Blaine shook his head. "Not yet. Rachel told me."

"Oh ok. Well, maybe you can just avoid him. Stay at Dalton as much as possible and we'll find another coffee shop. Scandals should be fine, though. You know he won't go there." Dave said, and Blaine grimaced.

"That would all be possible, I guess, but Rachel said he wants to see me. T-to talk to me."

Dave gave him a questioning look. "Are you ready for that?"

"I-I don't know." Blaine stuttered. "That's kind of why I was hoping you might help me." Dave looked at him skeptically but didn't say anything right away, waiting for Blaine to explain. "I-I don't know if I can handle it, you know, by myself. So, I was kind of hoping...I need him to think that I've moved on."

"Oooook." Dave said, waiting for the punch line.

"Will you please pretend to be my boyfriend, so it's not awkward." Blaine rushed out.

Dave looked at Blaine, confused, then busted out laughing. "You don't want it to be awkward? That would be the most awkward thing in the world. I was horrible to him in high school. I bullied him. I was terrible to him, and I'm actually surprised he's even civil to me now, and you want me to pretend like I'm dating you? That would kill him, man."

Blaine knew, deep down, that was the truth, and there was a part of him that felt bad at what he was suggesting, but the angry part, the hurt part, the part that wanted to lash out, pushed the other parts down.

"No," Blaine said, trying to appease Dave. "I don't think so. He knows you've changed. I just...look, I need someone there, I need your support. I just need him to think I've moved on." That's what he was telling Dave, but on the inside he was thinking just how badly he wanted Kurt to hurt. He wanted him to feel the same pain Blaine felt when he left.

Dave looks torn. "I don't know, man. I don't have a very good feeling about this. I really don't think it's a good idea."

Blaine knew Dave would resist him, but he kept pushing. "Please Dave, please. You know how hard this has been for me. I just don't want him to think I'm still pining and waiting and hoping."

Dave quirked his eyebrow as he took a sip of his coffee, now lukewarm. "Well, you kind of are, aren't you?"

Blaine glared at him. "N...I...I don't want to be." Blaine said, defeated. He let out a breath and looked at Dave with sad eyes. "I just need him to think I've moved on. Please. This is important to me. I need to protect my heart, at all costs. It was bad, Dave. Remember? We talked about this."

Dave nodded sadly, knowing what Blaine was referring to. After the two started talking, they bonded over an unfortunately similar incident in both of their lives. Dave's having occurred when he was in high school and dealing with an identity crisis, and Blaine's just a couple months ago, after Kurt broke his heart. Both had wanted to take their own lives, by some miracle had not succeeded. So yes, Dave understood Blaine's need to protect himself.

"I understand, man, I do, but I just don't know if it's a good idea." He said, once again voicing his concerns. "But I'll do what I can to help you. Maybe I can just be there for support?"

"No, no, I can't show up with just a friend. I need him to think that he's not that important anymore." Blaine said sadly.

"But he is." Dave countered.

"NO!" Blaine yelled, uncharacteristically slamming his fist on the table. Dave sat back, surprised at Blaine's outburst. It took Blaine a minute to realize that everyone was staring and he shook his head as if to clear out the negative thoughts. "Oh gosh, I'm sorry." He breathed. "I didn't mean that. I just...I know I'm not ready to move on, but I need to make him think I am. For my own sake." And to hurt him, his inner voice said.

Dave really didn't want to, but he agreed in the end. He could see the struggle his friend was having and he knew what Blaine had been through. He had seen him at some of his worst moments, and wanted to help however he could.

"Ok, I'll pretend to be your boyfriend. But just for a little while. Until Kurt goes back." Dave reluctantly agreed.

"Oh, thank you! I can't tell you how much I appreciate this." Blaine grinned.

"Yeah, well don't expect too much." Dave said, clearly uncomfortable thinking about how he might have to act toward his friend.

"Look, I was always the more affectionate one with Kurt and in order for him to believe this, I kind of need you to seem that way...to me."

"So what, you want me to like, hold your hand or put my arm around you or something?" Dave asked.

"Yeah, anything like that. Any kind of intimate touch, so he doesn't think we're faking." Blaine explained.

"Woah..." Dave said, leaning back and putting his hands up. "I'm not touching you intimately." Blaine laughed at the look on Dave's face.

"I didn't mean like that. Geez." Dave's whole posture relaxed then.

"Whew. No offense man, but as much as I like you as a friend, we are not compatible."

Blaine chuckled. "You can say that again." And Blaine laughed out loud at Dave's affronted look.

"Hey..."

"Seriously, I know your type, and I'm not it. And you aren't mine either, but if you can just make it look like I am. It doesn't have to be anything major, just touch my shoulder or something, just to make it look like we are together." Blaine explained.

"I think I can handle that." Dave said, then asked one last time. "Are you 100% sure you want to do this?"

"Yes, I am sure." His inner voice giving an evil laugh, repeating, yes, I am very sure.

"Ok then. So, when do we do this?" Dave asked.

Blaine fidgeted in his seat and Dave quirked his eyebrows at him. "Um, he wants to meet tonight." He said, rubbing his thumbs against is coffee cup. "At Scandals."

"Scandals?" Dave said surprised.

"Yeah, weird huh? I don't know why. Maybe he thought it wouldn't be as awkward with so many people around? Honestly, I don't know. Are you ok with that?" Blaine asked, still worried Dave would change his mind.

Dave sighed and nodded his head. "I'll do it for you, man."

Blaine smiled. "Thanks, I really appreciate it." More than you know, his inner voice said.


	2. The Fallout

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you don't think Blaine is to OOC right now. It is crazy to think he'd do anything to get back at Kurt, but I also think he's always had that underlying anger in him and after everything that happened and not seeing or talking to Kurt in 6 months, this is how I think the anger could have come out. I hope I show how conflicted he is through everything, because we all know deep down, he loves Kurt more than anything, so even if he does seem a little out there, please hang in with me. I promise it will all work out in the end.
> 
> And please remember that this does not really follow canon, because I have no idea what really happened. Even after a year, I can't bring myself to actually watch the first 4 episodes, so yeah. This is just my version, which is still angsty, but without the stomach churning, nausea inducing BA/DK relationship (that to me will never be canon).

Chapter 2  
The Fallout

Blaine knew Kurt would get there early. He always arrived early, no matter where they were going. As a matter of fact, that was one of the things that caused many of their arguments back in New York.

Blaine liked to be punctual, yes, but he was also a little more laid back about things. Kurt, on the other hand, was very particular about being somewhere early. Not just on time but early.

Unfortunately, sometimes things came up making it impossible to get somewhere early and even on time. When that happened, Kurt would get stressed and pissy and usually take it out on Blaine, whereas Blaine would try to just be calm and chill about their lateness, which tended to make Kurt even more angry. Blaine being late was actually what started "the" argument.

Because of this, Blaine planned to get there early. He knew he wouldn't beat Kurt, but he still wanted to show him that he had changed.

Knowing he'd convinced Dave, albeit reluctantly, to agree to play his 'boyfriend' tonight, Blaine went through a gamut of emotions leading up to this meeting. Of course he was nervous. He hadn't seen Kurt in six months and he had no idea how he was going to feel the moment they came face to face again. It had taken him months to just be able to look at his picture.

He was also equal parts guilty and excited about his plan. The anger that was in him was bubbling up, making him excited. There was a part of him that was so happy that he was going to be able to hurt Kurt and he couldn't wait to see the look on Kurt's face when he revealed he was dating Dave.

Unfortunately, there was a small part of him that was making his stomach turn at the thought of what he was about to do. The part of him that swore he would never do anything to hurt Kurt, and yet here he was, planning to do just that. The problem was, that part of him was pushed so far down by the anger that had consumed him since he'd talked to Rachel earlier, nothing else mattered.

When Blaine arrived at Scandals he scoured the room for Kurt and when he finally saw him, from behind, his breath caught in his throat and his stomach plummeted and for a moment, he thought he may pass out. Just seeing him, even from the back, still did things to him. He hadn't even see his face yet, oh God.

He froze for a moment, trying to get a grip on his emotions. As he stood there staring at Kurt's back he began to get angry. What the hell was his problem? Kurt could not still have this effect on him. It had been six long months. How was it possible that he still felt like this when he saw him?

In that moment, any kind of positive feelings he'd had about seeing Kurt had gone out the window when he allowed the anger to come back. How could he make him feel like that by just being?

He let the anger creep back up and he took a deep breath, plastered on his Dalton Mask, and sauntered over to the table to say hello to Kurt.

Kurt had been there for a good 10 minutes. He'd ordered a tea and was just sitting there playing around with the straw, trying to keep his hand from shaking. He kept running his finger through the wetness on the side of the glass and then wiping it on his napkin, just to have something to do.

His stomach was in knots and he was so nervous that he was worried about even being able to talk when Blaine arrived. He'd had so much time to think about what he wanted to say, but he still had no idea how to say it. He'd gone over and over it in his mind. He wanted to apologize, say how sorry he was, how he realized he'd made a mistake and he came back to try and make it all better. But he had no idea how Blaine was going to react. He knew that he'd hurt Blaine and he hadn't seen or talked to him in six months, which honestly was killing him inside. And now the thought of seeing Blaine again had him nervous beyond belief.

Suddenly, he felt a gentle touch on his shoulder. Just a touch, nothing more, and he quickly looked up just as Blaine passed by and plopped down in the seat across from him.

"Kurt, hey." Blaine said, giving him a fake smile, which Kurt recognized right away.

"Blaine." Kurt said softly, and the emotions in just that one word almost torn Blaine to pieces. "Thank you so much for meeting me."

Blaine smiled again and moved his hand back and forth. "Ah, it's no problem. I'm glad to see you Kurt." He said, trying to sound disinterested. "So, what are you doing back in Ohio? Are you visiting your dad? Is everything ok?" He said quickly, a sudden spark of worry for Burt passed though him. As much as he was hurt and angry with Kurt, he still loved Burt and he missed him. He missed seeing he and Carole, and having Friday night dinners with them. He'd started doing that after Kurt left for New York and he was still at McKinley. He had been part of the family, but in the last 6 months, he'd had no contact with them, and it had been tough.

Kurt shook his head. "No, no, everything's fine at home. My dad is just fine. He, uh, he say's hello, by the way."

Blaine smiled, a genuine one this time. "Tell him I say hey back."

"I will." Kurt said, returning the smile.

And then came the awkward silence, where both boys just sat there staring at anything but each other. This lasted a minute before Kurt took a shaky breath and tried to explain himself.

"So, the reason I-I'm back, is, well, actually you." Kurt stuttered.

"Me?" Blaine said, honestly surprised. "What do you mean?"

"Blaine," Kurt began, his voice shaking a little. "I came back to apologize. I realized what a huge mistake I made and I honestly can't tell you how sorry I am. I actually came back to Ohio to tell you that and to, well, to win you back."

Kurt looked and sounded so serious, and Blaine didn't mean to but he burst out laughing. He saw the hurt look on Kurt's face when he did and felt bad for a brief moment, but was quickly over it. It was so absurd. After 6 months...after everything he'd put Blaine through, and he thinks he's just going to come back and apologize and win him back. Just like that? It was insane and it just fueled Blaine's anger even more.

So it gave him great pleasure to smile a shy, very fake smile, and say, "Oh, well, gosh Kurt, I'm flattered, really, but I'm afraid I'm seeing someone." Kurt's eyes widened and he sucked in a deep breath, praying that his heart that Blaine couldn't tell his heart just broke into a million pieces right then and there and was on the floor at Blaine's feet.

"Oh, oh ok." Kurt said trying to feign enthusiasm, his voice going higher and higher. "Well, that's, that's good. I-I did tell you to move on, so yeah. I'm, uh, glad for you. If you're happy then that's great."

"Yeah, I am, we are. Oh look, here he is now." Blaine said, looking over Kurt's shoulder at Dave approaching their table. Kurt turned then and looked up to see the new man in Blaine's life and he literally stopped breathing.

"Karofsky." Kurt breathed out, using the same voice he'd used in high school. The scared, vulnerable voice.

Blaine felt his heart clench when he heard Kurt's reaction and immediately wanted to reach out and grab his hand, until he remembered why he was there, and why Dave was there. He had a plan. He was supposed to hurt Kurt like he'd been hurt.

Dave slid into the seat next to Blaine and placed his arm awkwardly around Blaine's shoulders. "Hey, hun," he said, stumbling over his words a little and looking at Blaine. "Sorry I'm late." He then turned his attention to Kurt. "Kurt, long time no see."

Kurt just sat and stared, trying to wrap his mind around what he was seeing and hearing. There was no possible way in this world that Blaine would ever date Karofsky. The guy who had Kurt in tears every week in high school. The boy who had stolen Kurt's first kiss. The one who Blaine had stood up to, time and time again, in Kurt's honor. There was no way.

Sure, Dave had changed. He had grown up and come out and realized who he really was and had made amends to Kurt. But that did mean that Kurt would ever forget what he'd done to him. And now, to sit there and see the boy he loved more than anything in the world with the boy he hated with a passion in high school, just killed Kurt.

But he knew...he knew it was his own fault. He had caused this. This was all because of him. So he grimaced into what he hoped was a smile and tried to be cordial.

"So, how did you guys meet, again?" Kurt asked, hoping they couldn't hear his voice shaking.

"It's a funny story." Blaine said with a smile, nudging a little closer to Dave. "We met here, actually."

"H-here?" Kurt questioned. "At Scandals?"

"Yeah." Blaine said, nodding. "I was, you know, trying to get back out there and decided to go dancing one night and there was Dave, sitting at the bar and we just got to talking and just hit it off. We went out for coffee a few times after that and have been dating ever since."

Kurt looked at Dave's face and then back to Blaine, blinking back the tears he did not want to fall, and prayed with everything that he didn't believe in that he would just make it through the next 5 minutes and he could go home and curl up in his bed and never leave.

"Oh well, that's great. That's really great." He knew he didn't sound at all convincing, but it was taking everything in him to hold himself together. "Listen, I, uh, really need to go. I promised dad and Carole I'd be back early. It was really great seeing you again Blaine and Dave, you too. Excuse me."

Kurt got up as quickly as he could without making it look like he was making a run for it. But instead of heading toward the door, he went straight to the bathroom. As soon as he had turned away from them, the tears began, and by the time the door closed, he had fallen against the wall and slid down into a heap on the floor. It was only then that he really let himself cry.

Dave pulled his are back from where it had been resting behind Blaine and looked at Blaine in confusion. "I don't think that was the right thing to do." He said, hoping for some sort of feeling from Blaine.

"Yes, yes it was. It's what needed to happen." Blaine said with force.

"But," Dave said back. "Did you see the look on his face?"

Blaine smiled a little bit. "Yeah, I did." Dave shook his head, confused as to why Blaine seemed happy about hurting Kurt.

"What the hell, man?" Dave growled. "I thought you said I was here to help you. We weren't trying to hurt him. Wait, is that what you were doing?"

Blaine swallowed hard. "Maybe." He said, trying to act like it didn't bother him, but deep down, the part of him that hated to see Kurt hurt was tearing up his insides. The anger, though, it was still there on the surface, telling him he did the right thing. That Kurt needed to hurt like he did. He was torn, so he just sat there.

Dave on the other hand couldn't stand the thought of hurting somebody like that, so he got up and followed Kurt into the bathroom. When he opened the door, what he saw broke his heart. Kurt was sitting in a heap on the dirty floor and when he heard the door, he looked up startled.

Dave wasted no time in going to Kurt, leaning down. "Kurt, I'm so sorry." He reached out to touch Kurt's knee and Kurt jerked away. Dave pulled his hand back quickly, not wanting to make Kurt any more upset. "Look, I'm sorry, and I don't know if you'll believe me or not, but Blaine and I are not dating. We're just friends. He asked me to come and pretend to be his boyfriend. He said he needed it to look like he was moving on."

Kurt stared up at Dave confused. "W-what do you mean?"

"I mean he asked me to lie. To tell you we were dating. We're friends, yes. We ran into each other a couple months ago, here, just like he said. But we didn't get together, like we led you to believe. We just hang out, like friends. But he's not my type, and I'm certainly not his." Dave squatted down to be on Kurt's level. "Look, I know that I put you through hell in school and I know that Blaine still holds that against me a little but, and that's ok. And because of that, he would never date me. He wouldn't do that to you. He still loves you."

"Right, yeah." Kurt says tearfully and with a small sob, then laughed a dark laugh. "Sure he does. So much so that he tries to make me believe he's dating you. That's not supposed to hurt me?"

"I think that was his intention, but I didn't know that at the time. I swear. I'm so sorry. I really believed him when he said he just needed me to be here for support, and to make it look like he was moving on and could be happy without you." Dave took a breath before continuing. "But it's not the truth. He's miserable. He has been since you broke up. You two need to just talk this out."

"I don't know." Kurt said, sniffling and wiping his tears away.

"Well, I do." Dave got up off the floor and put his hand out for Kurt to take. "And anyway, it looks wrong to see Kurt Hummel sitting on the bathroom floor at Scandals. That's all kinds of wrong."

Kurt chuckled, feeling a little better for the first time all night. "Thanks Dave. You're a really good guy."

"Kurt, I..."

"No, don't apologize anymore. I know. It's ok." Kurt said in a quiet voice.

"I'll tell you what," Dave said then, "Why don't get yourself cleaned up a little." He motioned toward Kurt's tear stained face. "Then head outside for some fresh air. I'll go talk to Blaine and send him out so you two can talk some more."

"Thanks." Kurt said softly. "You're a really good friend, to both of us."

"No problem." Dave said disappearing through the door.

Dave returned to the table happy to find Blaine still there, but also disappointed that he hadn't felt the need to follow Kurt when he clearly knew how much he'd hurt him. He slid into the seat across from Blaine and gave him a pointed look.

"Look man, I don't know what your problem is but that was uncalled for. Kurt is a mess. I only agreed to help you so you wouldn't be alone when you faced Kurt. He is clearly still not over you and I know you aren't over him, and whether you two end up together or not, you need to talk."

Blaine had been sitting there quietly with a bored look on his face while Dave spoke, but his insides were a different story. His stomach was churning, twisting, while he waited for Dave to return. He knew he'd hurt Kurt. He saw the look on his face right away when he spotted Dave, and that's what he'd wanted, right? The anger that he'd been holding inside said hell yes. But then why did his insides feel like they were in knots?

He looked up at Dave after a few minutes of silence and realized Dave expected him to speak.

"Ok, you want the truth?" Blaine asked taking a swig of the beer he'd ordered while Dave had been off with Kurt.

"That would be nice."

"I had every intention of hurting Kurt tonight. I lied to you so you would help me. I'm sorry that I used you, but I'm not sorry that I hurt him. He deserved it. He literally tore my entire world apart and he deserves to feel even a minute amount of the pain I felt. I know you are probably mad and I get that, but this is something that I had to do." He paused to finish his beer and sat it down with a thud. Dave's mouth was open in surprise and Blaine almost laughed at the sight.

"I don't even know what to say right now." Dave said staring in shock at his friend. "I told Kurt you would meet him outside to talk to him, but right now, I don't think that's a very good idea."

Blaine felt a moment of panic at the thought of seeing Kurt again. He was feeling so conflicted at the moment. Part of him hating himself for hurting Kurt and the other part rejoicing for the same reason. He was afraid that if he saw Kurt cry that he'd break down and become a weepy version of himself, like he was 6 months ago. Right now, he needed the anger and resentment to stay at the forefront so he could push Kurt away, back to New York.

So he straightened up, put his shoulders back and shoved the weepy Blaine so far down into himself he wasn't sure if it would ever come out again. Time to let angry Blaine out.

"You know what? I think it would be a great idea for us to talk again. He needs to know exactly how badly he fucked up." With that, Blaine got up and headed toward the door where he'd seen Kurt leave just moments before.


	3. The Fallout, Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok...here I am, apologizing again. You know it has to get worse before it gets better. I think I'm a masochist. I just can't seem to write anything lately without there being a lot of angst involved. I promise, it does get better, but it's not quick. I want to do the characters justice and give them time to work everything out, which is something we did not get on the show. So this is me, rewriting the Klaine version of Season 6.

The Fallout, Part 2

It was after Dave left the bathroom that everything really hit Kurt. He knew he'd screwed up and had known through friends that Blaine was not handling the breakup well, but Kurt and his damn pride were too strong, not allowing him to reach out. As he stood there, staring at himself in the mirror, he had never felt so alone and so fucking stupid.

Blaine wanted to hurt him. He'd lied and pretended that Dave, of all people, was his boyfriend. He had to hand it to him. Blaine certainly knew the way to inflict maximum damage. Yes, it would have been hard enough thinking Blaine had moved on, but to be dating his former bully who had made his high school years a living hell, well that was something else entirely.

Kurt walked outside and moved away from the door over to the corner of the building. He wanted to be able to talk to Blaine without people coming in and out of the door to distract them. He leaned up against a railing and tried to figure out how to explain everything to Blaine without pushing him away.

After about 5 minutes, the door opened and Blaine strolled out looking back and forth until he spotted Kurt. His face showed no emotion upon seeing him and that's what struck Kurt first. Blaine used to smile so big when he saw Kurt that his eye's crinkled. Not that he expected that reaction after everything that had happened, but to see Blaine's blank face scared him. And the way he was holding himself was concerning Kurt as well. He knew Blaine inside and out and he could tell by his body language that he was angry.

Kurt had only seen Blaine angry a handful of times, but never aimed at him. This time, though, he knew it was directed at him, and he also knew he deserved it. He straightened up as Blaine approached and opened his mouth to speak, but Blaine beat him to it.

"Look, I don't know why you felt like we needed to talk again, but here I am. Just say what you need to say and I'll be on my way."

Kurt was startled at Blaine's abruptness but took a breath and just dove in.

"Blaine, I am so sorry. I screwed everything up and I just want to fix it. Please tell me how to fix it." Kurt said, his voice shaking.

Blaine just looked at him puzzled. "This went way beyond a simple screw up, and honestly I don't see how it's possible to fix this. There is nothing to fix anyway. We are nothing anymore." Blaine spit the words out as if they were poison. It took everything in him not to take them back as soon as they were out of his mouth. The look on Kurt's face was so heartbreaking that he almost apologized, almost.

"Don't say that. You know that's not true." Kurt said, tears leaking from his eyes, his hands burning to reach out and touch Blaine. "We'll never be nothing."

"You just don't get it, do you? This is your doing. You made me feel like shit all those months ago, when you walked away from me. The fact that you didn't respond to any of my calls or texts...you are responsible for all this now. The fact that we are nothing is not my doing, it's yours."

"I-I didn't mean...I didn't know." Kurt said through hurried breaths. He felt like he was on the verge of passing out. He'd known it's been hard on Blaine, but to hear him say they were nothing just hollowed out his insides, leaving nothing but ashes.

"You didn't know? You hurt me, Kurt. You broke me." Blaine yelled.

"I-I know." Kurt said quietly. "I know and I'm so, so sorry about that."

"NO!" Blaine screamed angrily. "You don't get to be sorry. You get to hurt. Just. Like. I. Did. And that's what you are going to do. You are going to hurt."

Kurt felt as though he'd been stabbed in the chest and brought his hand up to cover his heart. "Oh God Blaine. I am so sorry." Kurt said brokenly as a sob escaped. "I didn't, I didn't know. I didn't mean for it to get this far. I just...I got scared."

"I don't care." Blaine said forcefully. "I don't want to hear it. I just want you to Leave. Me. Alone."

"I don't think I can do that." Kurt whispered.

"Oh, so now you can't do that? NOW you can't do it. You certainly did it just fine 6 months ago, in the restaurant, in front of all those people, when you told me that you didn't think you wanted to marry me anymore, and NOW you can't leave me alone? You ignored me for months, Kurt, months. You wouldn't answer my calls or my texts. You had Sam come get my stuff. You cut me out of your life. Hell, it's like you tried to erased me from your memory. So you don't get to be sorry."

Blaine finally stopped to take a breath and Kurt was sobbing openly by this point holding his stomach, as if to hold himself together. Blaine just stood there, glaring at him. And though his exterior showed anger, his insides were all twisted up in confusion, because no matter how badly he wanted Kurt to hurt, he hated seeing him cry, and he knew he was the cause of it. But he also knew that he deserved it, after everything, he deserved the pain.

At least that's what he was telling himself.

Unfortunately, as much as he hated how fragile Kurt looked, he just couldn't curb his anger and couldn't stop lashing out.

"I needed you. I got kicked out of school. I couldn't eat. I couldn't sleep. You were my world, Kurt, you were everything and you just threw me away. Then, I find out that you were apparently fine and even dating again. It was as if the last 4 years meant nothing to you. Our engagement meant nothing. The fact that we planned to spend the rest of our lives together. You were the love of my life and you just got rid of me like I was a piece of dirt on the bottom of your shoe. After everything we'd been through." Blaine stopped and tried to hold back a sob of his own. "After everything."

Blaine took a deep breath and tried to push down the pain again and let the anger stay on the surface. It was easier for him to deal with that way.

Kurt stood, still sobbing, looking at him through wet, sad eyes, and Blaine had to turn away for a moment to stop himself from walking over and just gathering Kurt up in his arms and holding on for dear life.

After Blaine finished speaking, it took Kurt a moment to get himself together. He was still sniffling, but he took a cautious step toward Blaine.

"I can't even begin to tell you how sorry I am for everything." Kurt said, and Blaine jerked his head around and looked over his shoulder at him.

"I said," he gritted, "I don't want to hear it."

Kurt bristled. "Well too bad." He said, realizing he needed to be strong to stand up to this Blaine. "You are going to hear it. I am so sorry. I was lost. I don't have any other explanation. I just was a mess. I was out on my own at first, and we were together, then we broke up then got back together, and then you were here and everything was drama while you lived here. I just didn't know which end was up. And I was putting everything in you. All of my happiness rested with you, and I was confused and I made a huge mistake."

Blaine turned back to Kurt and laughed a dark laugh. "A mistake. You think? I think this went way beyond a mistake. I think this was an epic fuck up."

Kurt nodded. "You're right, it was, and all the other choices I made after, after you left..."

"After I LEFT?" Blaine growled.

"After I made you leave." He corrected.

"You mean after you left me, without anyone." Blaine's anger was still bubbling at the surface, but Kurt gave him a look to stop him from continuing.

"It took me a little while, after, to figure things out. You were gone, Rachel was gone, Mercedes went back to California, and Sam left. I had no one. I was all alone." Kurt said, starting to tear up again.

"And who's fault was that?" Blaine sneered.

"I know, I know. It was mine. It was all my fault." Kurt took a breath to get his thoughts together and looked down at the pavement. He kicked at a rock with his shoe, clearly uncomfortable with what he was about to divulge. "I-I found a therapist, and he, he made me take a good look at myself. I have a lot of issues."

Blaine laughed. "You can say that again."

"Blaine, baby..."

"Uh-hu. No. No. No. No way. You do not get to call me that anymore."

"But..." Kurt tried.

"No!" Blaine took a step toward Kurt, shoulders back, eyes blazing. "You lost that right 6 months ago when you broke me. And now," He paused and took a shaky breath. "It's really over. And I don't want to see you again."

Kurt's eye's widened at Blaine's words and he began to shake.

"Blaine, you-you can't mean that." His words trembled with the fear he felt.

"Oh I can't? And you could, 6 months ago, when I cried and begged you not to do this, and you just sat there and stared at me."

"I-I know baby, but I'm a different person now." Kurt told him with hopeful eyes.

"Yeah, well so am I." Blaine said snidely as he spun around on his heel and walked away.

Kurt just stood there and stared after him, finally realizing exactly how much he had hurt Blaine. He'd done that. He'd broken the love of his life. The only person he knew without a doubt that he was ever going to love.

Kurt had come back to Ohio to win him back, to woo him, to tell him how sorry he was, and how he still loved him. But Blaine wouldn't listen, couldn't listen, because he was still broken.

Fresh tears gathered and trailed down his face as he stood there, staring at where Blaine had been standing, and let everything come out.


	4. The Aftermath

Chapter 4

The Aftermath

By the time Blaine made it home, he was on the verge of hyperventilating. All his anger had ceased and the sadness and hurt were back. But they were back for a different reason. This time it was him who had caused it. This time it was him who lashed out. He'd turned the tables and had hurt Kurt, the man he loved. Yes, he still loved him. He couldn't deny that. It was there and it always would be.

Standing there listening to Kurt apologize made Blaine angry. He didn't want to believe Kurt, he couldn't. He didn't want to believe that Kurt could actually be sorry. But deep down, he knew.

After he'd moved to New York, they'd had many discussions about their relationship and they'd had a lot of ups and downs while trying to learn how to live together. And yes, he knew how Kurt was. He knew Kurt pushed people away when things go tough. He thought that's what was happening when he broke it off, but he didn't expect it to last.

When he realized that Kurt wasn't going to just take him back right away, or ever, that was when he lost it. Almost hurting himself, having to leave the school he loved, the city he loved, to come back home with his tail between his legs was devastating.

It had taken a lot of time, but things had worked themselves out. He was coaching the Warblers and he enjoyed it, as much as he could. But he still hurt a lot. Everyday. But the anger...it hadn't been there before. Now, though, it was so strong and so overpowering, and it made it so easy to feel anger so he could take the pain away.

But after it was all over and he lay on his bed at home curled in a ball sobbing, he knew he was as bad as Kurt. He had done the same thing Kurt had done to him. He'd made Kurt cry, something he swore he'd never do. God, he hated to see Kurt cry and he'd just hurt him over and over again. He was the cause this time, and he hated himself even more, which made him hurt even more, which caused the anger to flare up again. It was just one big vicious cycle.

He finally cried himself to sleep late into the night, so when he woke up the next morning, his eyes were bloodshot and swollen and his head was pounding, but he felt lighter.

He knew he had to see his therapist again, so he reached for his phone, but before he could call her, he noticed he'd had a text overnight. He froze when he realized it was from Kurt. He was shaking when he opened it. It simply said, 'I'm so sorry. I hope someday you can find it in your heart to forgive me.'

Fresh tears began to build in Blaine's eyes but he blinked them away. He thought he'd been working toward that until Kurt showed up in Ohio, and now he didn't know anything anymore. He swiped his finger across his phone, getting rid of the text message and pulling up his contacts. He was able to get an appointment that morning after telling her it was imperative he see her as soon as possible.

Later that day, after his two hour session with his therapist, bless her soul, Blaine was finally beginning to understand. While he was dealing with his emotions over the break up, he'd gone through all the stages of loss, but had somehow skipped anger all together. He'd always been so calm and he didn't think of himself as an angry person. Oh he could get angry, of course, especially if someone wronged someone he loved, but it was very rare. He liked to keep things on an even keel.

So the more he pushed the anger down, allowing himself to wallow in depression, the more it built up. And as soon as Kurt came back, it just exploded. He knew he needed to talk to Kurt again. He needed to apologize for how he'd acted last night and would hopefully be able to calmly discuss things. But Blaine was worried that after just one session with his therapist, if he'd really be ready.

Later that day, after Warbler's practice, Blaine was not in a hurry to go home and he found himself in the music room sitting in front of the piano. His two hour session earlier was exhausting but incredibly helpful. She explained to him how he had gone through all the stages of grief except anger. Because of that, he had bottled it up and it all came out when he saw Kurt again.

Whenever he'd felt down in the past, music had always helped. Somehow when the music flowed through him, it calmed him. Today however, he just sat at the piano quietly and tried to clear his mind. He remembered a time early on, right after he came home, his therapist had told him to do what made him happy. He'd tried to play then, but he just couldn't.

Now he believed that music could be his escape, so he put his fingers on the keys and just started to play. He slowly felt some of the pressure that he'd been feeling all day relax just a little. It was like everything he was holding in his shoulders came down through his arms, across his fingers and right out onto the keyboard.

Blaine closed his eyes and played. He wasn't playing any particular piece, he just allowed the music to flow through him, and as he played he began to think about the past. Back to when he and Kurt were living together in New York. He remembered fighting all the time and he couldn't block out all of Kurt's issues with him.

In the beginning, it had been bliss. They were finally together and they were happy. They talked all the time, but soon there was a break in their communication and he knows that's what ultimately led to their breakup. But even after everything they went through and all the pain he felt by Kurt's harsh words, that he'd never be able to move on. It would always be Kurt.

And yes, he's angry. Very angry. But he feels guilty now too, for what he did last night. After meeting with his therapist, he was able to reconcile his feelings. He knew that he had to contact Kurt. He knew they needed to talk again. He wasn't exactly sure how Kurt was feeling, but he had the feeling that Dave told Kurt they weren't really together. That Blaine had asked him to pretend to be his boyfriend, so Kurt knows Blaine hurt him on purpose.

Now Blaine feels terrible. He's still angry, yes, but he's been able to temper that anger a little and balance it out.

His therapist had asked him a question that gave him pause. "Where do you see yourself in 5 years." Blaine was floored because he honestly couldn't answer the question. He'd just been trying to live day to day. He tried not to look into the future, but today she made him. She forced him to confront his biggest fear...living a life without Kurt.

He knew that he had plenty of time to get over everything and he really did want to get better. He does want to get better. He wants to talk to Kurt and find out why he did what he did, without the yelling. Just normal, simple communication, like they used to.

He thinks that maybe, just maybe, they could work things out. Kurt did tell him last night that he'd come back to Ohio to win Blaine back and that he realized he'd made a mistake, but Blaine was too blinded by anger at that point to listen.

As he sat there, playing random pieces of music, he allowed himself to go over the conversation from the previous night.

Before Dave had showed up at the bar, Kurt told him that he'd realized only a month after the breakup that he'd made a huge mistake, but his pride wouldn't let him reach out. That's when his dad suggested he see a therapist. During counseling, he realized he needed to better himself before he tried to reach out to Blaine again. He needed to become a better person for himself and for Blaine.

Blaine realized, through his own therapy, that he based all of his happiness on and around Kurt, and he needed to take a step back and figure out how to just be Blaine. How to be on his own and not rely on someone else for his happiness. So really, the time apart, though horribly painful and probably would have been better handled, may have ended up being good for both of them.

Blaine hopes that he can explain all this to Kurt when they finally talk again, and not just be overwhelmed with sadness and anger again. That's why he decided to take a couple of days to get himself together before he reaches out.

He knows Kurt's probably blaming himself and feeling bad but he's just not ready yet. He asked his therapist if they could meet another time this week. He'd cut down to one day a week, but with everything that happened last night, and with Kurt being back, he'd asked her if he could come in another day and she agreed it would be best.

Although he knew it was smart, taking a few days to get himself together, a part of him was feeling very guilty about leaving Kurt like he had last night. Without realizing what he was doing, he stopped playing and pulled his phone out of his pocket. Reluctantly, he scrolled through his contacts until he found Kurt's name, and just stared at it for a moment. He'd tried to delete him from his contacts after the breakup, but he knew that even if he would have deleted him, he'd have remembered every detail anyway, every number, every picture. And honestly, he could look back now, sometimes, and look at the pictures and smile.

Before he could change his mind, he quickly typed out a text. 'I know we need to talk but I need a couple of days. I'll contact you when I'm ready.' When he sent the text, he felt better, like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. He hadn't really been expecting a response, but it came quickly. 'Whatever you need. I'll be waiting. Love, K.'

Blaine didn't want to admit it, but the text made him smile just a little. Maybe, just maybe, they could get through this.

Kurt knew the break up had been hard on Blaine. Hell, it'd been hard on him too, and as soon as he left the restaurant that fateful night, he knew he'd made a mistake, but he'd always been so good at hiding his emotions that he just pushed everything down and tried to move on. He figured he needed to start dating and maybe that would help, but he realized after the speed dating fiasco where every time someone sat down he compared them to Blaine, that he couldn't move on.

It still took him a couple more months, and with the help of therapy he knew it was time to fight for his love. His therapist was a godsend. He helped Kurt through so many confusing feelings and emotions and helped him realize that he could still be his own person, an individual, and be in love and spend his life with someone else. He didn't have to be defined by who he was with. He had known that all along, but it wasn't until he lost it all for a second time that he realized it.

He had been a bit of a mess after everything that happened with Finn, and then Blaine moved to New York and in with he and Rachel, and he had to share everything, all the time. It was overwhelming. The loft was always filled with people and Blaine was there all the time, and in all his classes.

Kurt had grown used to being alone and he didn't know how to handle someone there all the time. Of course he loved Blaine, and he loved spending all that time with him, but sometimes it just became too much.

Unfortunately, once he was gone, Kurt knew he had made the wrong decision. He missed Blaine everyday and knew he wanted him back, but he wanted to better himself before he tried to get Blaine back because he wanted to ensure that he'd not do something so stupid ever again.

But after their 'talk' last night, he'd seen first hand how angry and hurt and broken Blaine actually was, it truly hit him how bad he'd actually messed up. And he honestly didn't know if he was going to get another chance.

The emptiness in his heart after Blaine walked away was unmatched. Kurt wasn't sure how he even made it home that night, let alone into bed. His mind was a haze of hurt and sadness and sleep was welcome, if only so he couldn't feel the unimaginable hurt anymore.

So when he woke the next morning for a brief moment, he had forgotten what happened but suddenly it all came flooding back and his eyes welled with tears again and the ache in his heart was back and stronger than ever. He reached for his phone hoping to see a text from Blaine knowing it was very unlikely, but was still utterly disappointed when his phone was blank.

He knew he needed to get up. He had Glee Club business to attend to today and he'd promised Rachel he would meet her for lunch, but now he didn't know if would be able to see anybody. He wanted to just stay in bed and wallow in his misery, so he sent a quick apology to Rachel and pulled the covers back over his head.

A few moments later, his dad poked his head in. "Kurt, you gettin' up?"

Kurt was quiet a moment, and without taking his head out from under the covers, he answered in a gruff voice, "I don't think so dad. Not feeling very well."

He felt the bed dip down next to him from his dad's weight and a gentle hand was on his back then, slowly rubbing back and forth.

"I take it the talk didn't go well?"

There was a sniff from underneath the blanket. "No." Kurt said, barely croaking out the single syllable word.

"Bud, I know this separation was hard on both of you, and I know that you are both hurting, but you are just going to have to give him a little time. I'm sure he was surprised when you showed up here."

Kurt pulled the covers back slightly to peek out at his dad. "I don't know if time will help this time dad. I think I really messed up." Kurt's voice shook as he admitted his worst fear to his dad.

Burt removed the hand that had been rubbing Kurt's back and moved them up to card them through his son's hair, pushing it back from his face.

"I know after everything that's happened it's hard to believe, but I think you two are meant to be and you just have to be patient and give him time. If not, you'll go on. You both will, but right now, you need to heal, and you have to let him heal."

Kurt sniffed again, tears dripping down from his face and disappearing into his pillow. "I know dad, but now that I've figured everything out, it's hard. I don't want to give him time. I need him to know that I still love him and that this time it's going to be different."

"Well then, I think you need to show him." Burt said simply.

"I-I don't know if that is possible now. I hurt him so bad. He's broken dad, and I don't know if I can fix this." Kurt said, defeat in his voice.


	5. Reconnecting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all are still enjoying where this story is going. I know it's a slow build up, but I also don't think they would have rushed back into things until they were both ready, so I wanted to show both sides of their journey back to each other.

It had been 4 long agonizing days for both boys. For Kurt, he kept himself busy at school with Glee Club stuff and at home, every night he tried to stay even busier, doing homework, even going so far as to get ahead in some of his classes that he was doing long distance. He kept in constant contact with Rachel about songs and assignments for Glee, had dinner with his dad every evening, basically anything to keep his mind off of Blaine and their hopefully impending talk.

For Blaine, things were a little different. He spent the next four days working with his therapist. He'd actually had two other sessions that week instead of one, like he had originally planned. And she helped him work through his anger, mostly, trying to teach him how to even it out. It was ok to get angry and to have some residual anger from what had happened, but it was how he dealt with it that counted.

He spent the afternoons with the Warbler's, practicing and singing, trying to hold onto some normalcy. His evenings were spent in his music room at home, just playing and thinking.

Along with the anger, he was now trying to work through his feelings of guilt, which was new. He hadn't felt guilt for a long time. Not since Kurt had broken things off and he felt like everything was his fault.

This guilt was different, though. He deserved this guilt. He'd intentionally hurt Kurt. He knew how much it would hurt Kurt if he thought he and Dave were dating. And now, after some soul searching and many talks with his therapist, he understood that it had stemmed from his anger, and that was his way of lashing out, but that didn't make him feel any better.

By the weekend, he knew he needed to talk to Kurt. He figured the weekend would be best, that way if it wasn't pleasant, he would have at least a day to get himself together before he had to return to Dalton and pretend everything was okay again.

Friday afternoon, after 4 days of radio silence, he sent a text to Kurt. 'Hey, I'm ready to talk.'

When Kurt read the text message, his stomach dropped, and he's not embarrassed to say he shook a little bit. He knew how important this talk was and he knew how hurt Blaine had been and how horrible he was feeling about everything. It took him a couple of minutes to get his hands to stop shaking so he could reply to the text.

He kept it simple. 'Just tell me when and where.'

A couple minutes later he got a reply. 'Tomorrow? Lima Bean, 2:00?'

'I'll be there.' Was all he said. He wanted to say so many other things. He wanted to say he was sorry. He wanted to say I really hope you can forgive me. He wanted to say I love you...but he didn't. He knew all those things needed to be said face to face.

Needless to say, neither boy slept that night. Kurt laid in bed staring at the ceiling, while Blaine spent most of the night in his music room playing and writing songs, which he hadn't done since high school. He was finally feeling better, but he was also nervous about his upcoming talk with Kurt.

His therapist had made him really delve into the future in his sessions this past week. And the thing that he realized was that he didn't have a future without Kurt. He didn't see any future at all without Kurt. Yes, the last 6 months had changed him. Helped him realize that he could do things on his own and that he was his own person. He didn't have to rely on Kurt. But that's not what this was about. It was about a want, not a need, but a want. He wants Kurt in his life forever, and he's pretty sure Kurt feels the same way now, but he's so scared about putting his heart back out there again. He doesn't think he can handle another heartbreak. He's stronger, and is his own person, but if he opens his heart back up to Kurt again and Kurt leaves, he knows he'll never survive. So, the question his therapist posed to him is can he trust Kurt with his heart again.

Kurt spent an hour doing his regular moisturizing routine and another hour trying to figure out what he was going to wear. He wanted to look good, of course. He wanted to catch Blaine's eye like he always had, but he also didn't want to go overboard, so he settled on something in between. Skinny jeans, of course, in a subtle plain black with a white button down and a black vest, adorned with one of his favorite brooches.

Kurt sat at the kitchen table with his dad, who was staring at him in confusion.

"What?" Kurt finally asked, when his dad hadn't said a word but continued to stare at him.

"What's up with you, bud? You've been really quiet and withdrawn these last few days."

"I've just been working on homework. I want to make sure I stay ahead of things so I'm not behind when I go back to New York."

Burt's eyes crinkled and he made a face, showing Kurt he didn't believe him. "Kurt, you and I have always been honest with each other. I know we didn't talk about what happened on Monday and I just want you to know that if you don't want to share everything right now, that's fine, but I'm always here for you."

"I know, dad." Kurt said, reaching his hand out and placing it over his dad's on the table. "And thank you for letting me come back and stay. I know it was last minute, but I just really needed to come back."

"I understand, bud. I do, and like I said before, I know you and Blaine will work through things, but it's just going to take time."

"Yeah, maybe we will get another chance." Kurt said, his voice sounding a little hopeful.

"So, is that where you're headed this afternoon?" Burt finally asked. Kurt looked down and was suddenly very interested in his salad, moving pieces of lettuce around with his fork but not really eating. "I told you I won't ask for details, but don't think I can't read you like a book." He said smiling. Kurt looked up at his dad with a surprised face and smiled back.

"I know dad." He sighed. "Sometimes that's not always a good thing." Burt laughed.

"Yeah, but that doesn't mean I won't be here for you, and so is Carole. You know that, right?"

"Yes dad, I know." Kurt glanced down at this phone and startled. "Oh shoot, I really need to get going." He said, jumping up and taking his half eaten salad to the sink.

"What time are you meeting?"

"Two, but I just want to get there a little early, you know?" Kurt said nervously.

"I know. I got it. Go, go."

"Thanks dad." Kurt said again, leaning over to give his dad a hug.

"Anytime kiddo."

When Kurt arrived at the Lima Bean ten minutes early, he was surprised to see Blaine already there. Blaine had a tendency to wait until the last minute to get somewhere, most times arriving late, which had actually caused a lot of friction between Kurt and Blaine when they were together.

Kurt glanced over to where Blaine was sitting, in the corner away from the crowd, and he had two coffees sitting on the table in front of him. When Blaine saw Kurt a small, soft smile graced his face and he gave a little wave letting Kurt know he'd seen him.

Kurt felt the old familiar butterflies in his stomach when Blaine smiled at him and gave his little wave. It had been a long time since he'd felt that. It made everything seem kind of new again. Kurt's smile got bigger when he thought about it. Maybe that's what they needed to do. Start fresh. And hopefully this was a good start.

Kurt walked over, getting more and more nervous as he approached the table.

"Hi." He said quietly as he slid into the seat across from Blaine.

"Kurt, I just want to apologize for the other night." Blaine said, jumping right into the tough conversation.

"I-uh," Kurt stuttered, surprised by Blaine's sudden apology. "It's ok."

"No, it's not ok. I hurt you, purposely, and for that I'm sorry." He blew out a breath as he tried to gather his thoughts. Kurt was going to speak but could tell Blaine wasn't finished, so he waited. "These last few months have been hard." He said, his voice cracking on the last word, as if he can describe everything he's gone through in one simple word.

Kurt sucked in a deep breath. Hearing how wrecked Blaine sounded cut him to the core. He could already tell this was a different Blaine than the one he'd talked to the other night. "I can't apologize enough for that, for everything."

"I know. I swear I didn't bring you here to beret you again." He took a sip of his coffee to wet his mouth which had dried out completely at the first sight of Kurt. "I was just so angry and I'm sorry I took that out on you."

"You have every right to be angry and hurt. I know I screwed up. And I understand why you did what you did with Kar...Dave." Kurt stumbled over the name and Blaine had to clinch his hand in a fist under the table to stop himself from reaching out and taking Kurt's hand to comfort him.

"I didn't have a right to hurt you, and that's what I did. I really am sorry." He unclenched his fist but kept his hand on his thigh under the table while the other one held tight to his coffee cup. "I have seen my therapist a couple times this week and she helped me to understand why I acted the way I did." Blaine looked up at Kurt and he nodded, letting him know he was listening and to continue. "Apparently, I sort of skipped the anger part of my healing process."

Kurt cocked his head and lifted his eyebrows in question.

"See, she explained to me that there are stages of loss that everyone goes through, denial, bargaining, anger, depression, and acceptance. It seems that I went straight from the bargaining to the depression and onto acceptance without letting the anger come through. I really was getting better. I had finally accepted the fact that I could survive without you. That I was an individual and not defined by our relationship." Blaine paused. This was a lot harder than he thought, but he knew it was important for him to explain all of this to Kurt so they could move forward.

"I put all of my happiness in you, Kurt. My life revolved around you. Before, when I cheated, it was my weird way of keeping control of things. I thought you were through with me so I tried to find a substitute for you. I know it doesn't make sense, but..." He shook his head, trying to get himself back on track. He saw Kurt's posture change the moment he mentioned the cheating. He hated having to bring it up at all, but he needed Kurt to understand him.

"When we finally got back together and got engaged, I swore that I would do everything in my power to make you happy for the rest of our lives. I threw myself into the relationship full force. I know I was overbearing once I finally moved to New York, but I was just so happy to finally be with you again that I couldn't help myself. It was as if I couldn't breath if you weren't right next to me. Unfortunately, I let us become more important than me and I lost myself. So when you broke it off again, I..." Blaine had to stop for a moment and hold back a sob. He knew this would be hard, but God, Kurt was sitting right there watching him. He couldn't bring himself to look at him, but he could feel Kurt's gaze, watching him.

"Let's just say I didn't handle things well after. I really was broken and in some ways I still am." He felt like Kurt wanted to reach out and he tensed. He wasn't ready for him to speak yet, let alone try and touch him. "Apparently, I buried the anger so far deep inside, that when I found out you were here, it just exploded. I know that's no excuse for what I did and I am so sorry for hurting you. Some of the things I said were uncalled for and you didn't deserve that."

He could tell Kurt wanted to respond, so he quickly continued. "I know you have things to say too, but just let me finish first, ok?" He glanced up in time to see Kurt nod then looked back down at the table where his eyes had mapped out each and every grain of the table.

"My therapist asked me an interesting question this week and it's all I could focus on while trying to work through seeing you again. She asked me where I saw myself in 5 years and that's when I realized that I wasn't through with you. That you and I could never be through." Blaine heard Kurt's sharp intake of breath at that statement and he felt lighter for the first time since Kurt came back. "I'm not sure what that means right now though. I don't know if I'm ready to put my heart back on the line again. I just know that anytime I look into the future, I see you there."

Blaine let out a breath and slumped his shoulders. It felt good to admit that out loud. He was scared, sure, but he also knew that he'd already lost everything and survived, and he would never forgive himself for not taking one last chance with the boy that stole his heart when he was 16.

As Kurt sat and listened to Blaine he felt his heart break and repair itself a million times over. As hard as it was, hearing everything from Blaine himself, it was also very eye opening. Yes, he'd found the love of his life at 16, and yes, he knew they belonged together. But that didn't stop life from getting in the way. He's realized that a lot of their problems stemmed from not only their ages and their immaturity, but their lack of experience. They knew they were destined to be together, but that didn't make their journey easier.

Sure, they were still very young, but they had both also been mature enough to seek out the help of a professional to help them work through their problems. The fact that they were able to sit down together after the other night and discuss things showed just how far they'd come.

Kurt knew most of the issues originated with him. He was always so independent and controlling to an extent. He wanted a boyfriend not someone who defined him. What he realized in therapy was that he could be his own person and still be in love. He also knew that he had to show his affections more. He'd always let Blaine lead that part of their life, but it took him a while to realize that part of the reason Blaine was so clingy sometimes was he was looking for Kurt's approval and needing reassurance of his love.

That realization is what brought him back to Lima, to get Blaine back. And now he realized it was his turn. He lifted his head to catch Blaine's attention before speaking.

"Can I go now?" Kurt asked softly, waiting for confirmation that Blaine had finished saying what he needed to say. Blaine was exhausted from his confessions that he just nodded, not attempting to speak.

"First off, I have to apologize again." He saw Blaine open his mouth like he was going to say something so he spoke quickly. "I know, I know, I've apologized over and over and I will keep doing it until you forgive me." Kurt stopped for a moment and took a deep breath and continued on.

"I knew I'd made a mistake the moment I walked out of the restaurant, but I was too stubborn to admit it, so I did what I always do, I went overboard. I did everything I could to convince myself I was doing the right thing, that we were too young and were making a mistake trying to get married and live together when we had our whole lives ahead of us." Kurt's voice started to get shaky the longer he spoke. "So I ignored you and everything about our past and tried to move forward."

Kurt knew what he was saying was hurting Blaine, so he was looking at everything but the man sitting across from him. Although he couldn't see him, he could feel the tension in his body from across the table. It was almost enough to make Kurt not continue, but he knew if they ever wanted to get past this, he needed to be honest.

"I tried speed dating." He blurted out after a few uncomfortable moments of silence, and he heard Blaine's sharp intake of breath. His stomach twisted, knowing he was causing Blaine even more pain bringing this up, but he continued anyway. "Every time someone new sat down, I compared them to you, and by the end of the night, I was so on edge and flustered, I went back to the loft and cried for the first time since we'd broken up." He paused, brushing a stray tear off his cheek, glancing up quickly then back down.

"The next day I found a therapist." Kurt sniffed and tried to get himself under control. He needed to explain everything without bursting into tears. He owed it to Blaine, so he took a deep breath and trudged on.

"It turns out I was pretty messed up." He said, giving a half laugh, half sob. "It took me three months to really understand myself and my insecurities. I've always had a tendency to strike first and ask questions later and that comes from all the problems I had in high school. I've always had this armor up and you have been the only person to ever break through it, and that...that scared me."

"When I moved to New York and you...c-cheated," Kurt saw Blaine tense up again and he squared his shoulders before continuing. "That was all I needed to convince myself that I was better off alone. Unfortunately, you always found a way back in and even though I couldn't admit it, I missed you like crazy, so I said yes to your proposal."

He saw Blaine flinch and knew what he must be thinking so he finally looked up and met Blaine's eyes for the first time since he'd started talking.

"I meant it too. I did want to marry you. I didn't say yes for any other reason than my love for you. Please know that." Their eyes locked and he begged Blaine to believe him through his gaze. Blaine gave a small nod, showing he believed him and for him to continue.

"Being apart those last few months were hard but it was even harder when you moved in." Kurt dropped his gaze again, ashamed of what he was about to admit. "I loved having you there, but after it just being Rachel and I, and sometimes Santana, having you and Sam there, all the time was hard. I felt like I never got time for myself and you were always there." He saw Blaine's hands clench and he longed to reach over and put his hands over them but he knew he'd never make it though if he did that, so he refrained, grabbing his own coffee cup just to have something to do with his hands.

"Deep down, I knew why you were overly clingy. Hell, I'd missed you too. But I'd gotten so good at being alone when you weren't there, that it was hard to be with you all the time. I'd convinced myself that I we were becoming too dependent on each other and that's why I agreed when you said you'd move out. I knew it was a stupid decision and it was hurting you but I just couldn't help myself. By the time you moved back in, I'd built a wall so far around myself that there was no getting in."

"Like I said, I was a mess." He tried to joke and glanced up to see the hint of a smile on Blaine's face and he knew they were making progress. "I really learned a lot about myself during those three months of therapy. I was able to let go of my past and in doing so, I realized that you were my future. I was letting fear ruin my life. I was scared of how much I loved you and needed you. I was so afraid I'd have to let go of the person I was in order to have a life with you. But I realized that having you in my life actually made me a better person." His eyes never left Blaine's as he spoke these last, very important statements. "I realized that my life meant nothing without you in it, so I came here to tell you that."

He took a one last shaky breath and concluded, "So here I am, laying my soul bare and telling you that I still love you and if you can find it in your heart to forgive me, I want to be in your life, in whatever capacity you'll let me."

"Kurt, I..." Blaine paused. He really wanted to tell Kurt that he still loved him too, but he wasn't sure if he was ready for that. He knew for sure he wasn't ready to just back into a relationship. He was still confused about his feeling. He'd finally gotten a handle on them and then Kurt showed up and twisted him all up again. He knew that they would be together eventually, because he couldn't imagine his future without Kurt. But he just didn't know if he was ready yet.

Kurt could see the struggle in Blaine, so he interrupted Blaine's thoughts.

"It's ok. You don't have to say anything now. I-I understand." And he did, but Blaine could see the sadness in Kurt's eyes. He wanted so badly to say something, but he knew he shouldn't, not if he wasn't ready, so he just nodded.

"I'm just, I'm happy you're back. Here, I mean. I am. I just...we need to ease into this. Go slow, ok?" Blaine's voice was so vulnerable that Kurt finally reached out and gently lay has hand over Blaine's.

"Anything you need. Anything." He said softly.

Blaine's first instinct was to jerk back away from Kurt's touch, but the moment he felt the warm of Kurt's hand it spread through his entire body and one word came to mind...Home.

He looked up and smiled slightly and said, "Thank you."

They went their separate ways soon after that. Kurt wanted nothing more than to wrap Blaine up in a bone crushing hug, but he could tell Blaine was not ready for that, so he just smiled gently and said he'd see him later. It wasn't until he got into his car that he let the tears fall.

It was ripping him apart knowing how badly Blaine had been hurting and knowing now that it was still hard for Blaine having Kurt around now. But Kurt was determined that he was going to do it right this time. He was going to show Blaine how important he was to Kurt and how wonderful he was. He was going to make all the gestures this time.

He smiled then. He was going to woo Blaine. He was going to show Blaine how much he still loved him and how sorry he was. And as soon as Kurt Hummel set his mind to something, there was no holding back. With that though, he smiled all the way home.

Because Kurt was a planner, once he returned home, he headed to his room and pulled a blank notebook of one of the shelves, and began planning. He knew he needed to move slowly but he also needed to show Blaine how much he was loved. He decided to start with a text. He grabbed his phone and sent off a quick text.

'I'm glad we were able to talk. I am looking forward to seeing you again.' -K

So Kurt mapped out a rough draft of the things he wanted to do to show Blaine how serious he was and how much he really appreciated him. He was so engrossed in his list, he startled when there was a knock on his bedroom door.

"Hey Kurt," His dad asked as he pushed the door open. "Are you joining us for dinner?"

Kurt looked up and realized hours had passed while he worked out his plan to win Blaine's heart back. He smiled the first genuine smile he'd had in days and nodded.

"I'll be right down."

His dad took note of Kurt's expression and said, "I take it things went well?"

Kurt turned in his chair, fully facing his dad now and shrugged. "As well as can be expected after...everything."

Burt nodded, showing his understanding. "I'm sure it wasn't easy but I know you two will make it through this."

"Thanks dad." Kurt said, smiling. "I think maybe we will."

After they had finished dinner and cleaned up, the family was sitting around the living room watching a movie when Kurt's phone buzzed. Kurt wasn't sure what response to expect from Blaine after his text but it certainly wasn't what he received.

'I'm glad we were able to talk too. I really missed spending time with you.' -B

'I also had to stop watching Scandal after everything because I couldn't watch it without thinking of you. But after the other day, even as angry as I was, I got on Netfilx and started binge watching...' -B

'OMG! I can't believe what happened.' -B

Kurt literally laughed out loud, his family giving him questioning looks. God, he'd missed this. The texts were just so Blaine and Kurt felt a flutter in his stomach...guilt mixed with excitement.

He felt so guilty thinking that Blaine couldn't even watch a show they had watched together, but he'd been the same way about Moulin Rouge. He still couldn't listen to "Come What May" without becoming a blubbering mess. So he'd banned the movie from existence. He wasn't quite ready to bring it back out yet, but maybe in time.

He smiled as he replied to Blaine's text.

'This last season was crazy, right? How far did you get?' -K

The response came immediately.

'Is it bad to admit that I stayed up way to late to finish it?' -B

Kurt laughed out loud again, picturing Blaine curled up on his bed, wrapped up in his favorite blanket watching Scandal. He got that warm feeling again, the feeling of longing.

'LOL. I can totally understand. It's impossible to stop watching. And what did you think of the ending?' -K

And that's how it began. Throughout the rest of the weekend, the two boys texted constantly, about anything and everything. Things that they'd wanted to talk to each other about for the last 6 months but couldn't.

On Sunday evening Kurt was sitting with his dad and Carole watching the news. Well, Kurt wasn't really paying attention, he was again, on his phone texting Blaine.

Burt looked over and asked, "That Blaine again?" Kurt looked back at him with a small smile and said yes. "That's good, kid, that's good." Burt and Carole shared a secret smile then went back to watching the news.


	6. The Bombshell

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry...

Rachel didn't notice until Friday morning that Kurt's outlook was better and she cornered him as soon as they were alone, put her hand on her hip and looked at him.

"Alright, spill."

"What?" Kurt looked at her with wide eyes, trying to look innocent.

"Don't give me that. You know what. Last week you were all sad and mopey Kurt, and this week you are actually smiling. Something must have happened." She gave him a pointed look waiting for him to answer, then she gasped. "Wait...was it Blaine? Did you guys get back together? Did you..."

"Rachel. Calm down. We are not back together." He face fell at his words, but he continued. "But we are talking again."

"So talking is good, right?" Rachel said, trying to be positive. "What happened at Scandals last week?" He hadn't told her about their conversation yet and wasn't really sure he was ready to explain. He shook his head and sighed.

"Not here, ok. I'll explain everything, but now's not the time." He glanced around at the school knowing that they only had a few more moments of quiet before the bell rang again and the students would flock back into the choir room.

"Can we do lunch then?" Rachel was dying to know what happened between the two boys. She figured things didn't go well at Scandals last weekend based on Kurt's disposition last week, but suddenly he was sort of happy again and she wanted to know everything.

Kurt sighed again. "Yes, we can do lunch, but that's not really the place for that conversation either. Tell you what, just come over after school. We'll stop by the Lima Bean and get some coffee and go back to my house and I'll tell you everything."

"Sounds good. Kurt, for what it's worth..." He looked up at her and could see the sincerity in her face. "I'm glad you two are talking again." He smiled.

"Me too Rach, me too."

True to his word, that afternoon, Kurt told Rachel everything that had happened between him and Blaine since their first meeting at Scandals. By the end, he felt emotionally exhausted again but he also felt a little lighter after sharing with somebody. His dad and Carole knew little bits and pieces, but it wasn't the same as having your best friend there.

He was so glad he'd told her. She was so supportive and understanding and was a great shoulder to cry on. She'd even shed a few tears as well and was a bit surprised at Blaine's initial at first but a part of her knew. She'd seen and hear a little about how bad it had gotten, but she was almost afraid to tell Kurt.

"The only thing I don't understand," Kurt said, after the fact. "Is what was it that bonded Kurfosky and Blaine. Blaine said something about the two of them bonding over something, but they are so different, I can't imagine anything they could have in common."

Rachel began fiddling with her coffee cup before sitting it down on the table and turning to face her best friend.

"I-I think I might know." She said quietly.

"Ooook," Kurt said, narrowing his eyes. Rachel bit her lip as she considered whether or not she should tell him. "Rachel..."

"Look Kurt, with everything so fragile right now and you and Blaine trying to get back what you had, I'm not sure I should tell you. I-I'm actually not even sure it's true because he didn't actually tell me, he stopped himself before he actually said it and I..."

"Rachel." Kurt said, his voice sharp. "You need to tell me. I need to know. If it's something that has to do with me and Blaine, I just, I need to know. Please." When she looked at him, he saw sadness in her eyes, and his heart skipped a beat and his stomach dropped.

"I-I think they bonded...I think...Ugh!" She took a breath, not sure how to actually say what she was thinking out loud.

"Rachel." Kurt whined. "Just tell me."

"Remember what happened when Kurofsky started getting harassed in high school?" Kurt gave her a puzzled look. "Remember...when you forgave him." Kurt's eyebrows raised, his mouth dropped open and his hand flew up to cover it as he gasped.

"No," He said once he moved his hand away from his mouth. "Please, please tell me it's not what I'm thinking." He blinked his eyes quickly to blink away the tears. "Rachel, please." She leaned over and grabbed his hands and held on tight.

"Like I said, I don't know for sure, but he said something the other day when I told him you were back." She paused, making sure he wanted her to continue. His slight nod encouraged her on. "He just kept going on about how you had hurt him and he didn't think it was fair that you came back after all this time and something about how he had been so messed up that he'd tried...then he stopped himself."

Kurt's head suddenly started shaking back and forth and he started moaning, "No, no, no, no, no..."

"Kurt stop." She squeezed his hands that she still held. "Like I said, I don't know for sure."

"Rachel," Kurt said, his voice rough. "Do you know what this means?"

"Kurt, even if he did..." Kurt's head jerked up and his eyes warned her not to continue. "It's not your fault."

"It is. It is. It is my fault." He said, his voice shaky. Tears began to spill from his eyes as he started to rock back and forth. "Oh my God, what did I do? What did I do? What if he'd...oh...I don't think I can ever forgive myself." He got up suddenly and ran into the bathroom, throwing up the coffee he'd just had.

Rachel sat on the couch, hands in her lap and tears running down her face as she listened to her best friend torture himself. I did the right thing, she thought to herself. He needed to know. But why do I feel so guilty?

She got up and went to the bathroom door. It was not closed all the way and she pushed it slowly, the sight that greeted her broke her heart. Kurt was pale, tears streaming down his face, leaning over the sink. But it was the guilt in his eyes that hit her in the gut.

She walked over and simply pulled him into her arms. Within seconds, he was sobbing uncontrollably, mumbling over and over, "I can't believe it. I pushed him to that. I can't believe it. What did I do, what did I do, what did I do?" Rachel just held him, brushed his hair back and whispered soothing words to him.

About ten minutes later Kurt's sobs finally subsided and he pulled back from her, eyes still tortured.

"Thanks Rach." He said, his voice monotone. "I'm gonna clean up a little, ok? I'll meet you in the living room."

"Sure." She said, moving back into the living room, picking up their coffee's from earlier to throw them away, then sat back on the couch to wait.

Kurt looked at himself in the mirror once he was alone again, not able to look himself right in the eyes. It wasn't until Rachel told him what she thought Blaine had done that he realized how close he had really come to losing...everything. He stared himself down, screaming at himself in his mind. 'How could you have been so stupid? How is he ever going to trust you again. It's no wonder he yelled at you. It's not surprising he hates you. And he does, he should.'

All the happiness he had felt this morning was gone in an instant, and the guilt was back, full force. When he finally emerged from the bathroom, it took Kurt 15 more minutes to convince Rachel that he was okay enough for her to leave. It wasn't until he told her that he needed to call his therapist that she finally left.

It wasn't just a line to get her to leave. He called his therapist even before she had pulled out of the driveway. He had to leave a message, of course, and he asked if they could have a phone session as soon as possible.

While Kurt and Rachel had been talking earlier, Blaine had texted Kurt quite a few times, which had become the norm for them this week. They hadn't been ready to see each other again, but the texting and occasional phone calls had been good. Kurt had even sent Blaine flowers, part of his wooing plan, and was pleased beyond belief to hear the utter happiness in Blaine's voice when he called after receiving them.

Kurt had replied to a few of Blaine's texts earlier, but hadn't responded to him for a couple of hours, not wanting Rachel to tease him while they were talking about him. But now, Kurt was sure he wouldn't be able text Blaine. The guilt was too strong and so Kurt decided that he didn't deserve another chance from Blaine.

He understood now, how hurt and how bad things had actually gotten. So after he left a message with his therapist, he turned off his phone (probably not the best idea, but hey, he was an emotional mess), lay down on his bed, closed his eyes and prayed for sleep to come to ease the pain and guilt he was feeling.

Apparently sleep did come to Kurt, because he woke up 2 hours later to his dad calling out his name and knocking on his bedroom door. Kurt shook his head to clear his sleepiness and tried to remember why he thought it was a good idea to sleep in the middle of the afternoon.

Then it all came crashing back to him in an instant. His talk with Rachel...what she had told him about Blaine. And suddenly his chest felt heavy again. He knew he needed to face things, so he called out to his dad to enter.

Burt poked his head in and saw that Kurt had been sleeping a concerned look crossed his face.

"You feeling ok, bud?"

"Yeah, dad." Kurt said, moving to untangle himself from the pillows he'd apparently bunched up around him as he slept.

"You sure? There's nothing you need to talk about?" His dad knew him better than anyone, well except for Blaine. And with that thought, he felt his chest constrict. He loved his dad but he wasn't ready to talk to him yet, so he shook it off.

"No, it's ok. I just, there's a lot of things going on and I needed a nap." He tried to play it off but his dad wasn't having it.

"Did you turn your phone off or something, because I tried to text you." Burt asked, concerned but trying not to push.

"Shit!" Kurt said under his breath. "Yeah, sorry. I switched it off because I just needed some quiet." He fumbled for his phone and quickly turned it on, finding several messages. He couldn't focus on them with his dad there, so he put his phone down and looked up at his dad who was still hovering in the doorway.

"Carole's fixing dinner and she said it will be ready in about 30 minutes."

"Okay dad. I'll be down in a few." Kurt said, knowing he'd need at least half of that time to get himself together enough to act like everything was normal. Burt nodded and closed the door gently behind him.

Kurt grabbed his phone back up and began looking through his messages. He had 2 texts from his dad, 5 texts from Blaine, one text from Rachel and a missed call and a message from his therapist.

He glanced at his dad's first because he knew they were just asking if he was home. Rachel's was next and she was checking in, telling him to call her if he needed to talk. It took him a moment to open Blaine's, his finger shaking above his name, his stomach in knots. He knew he wouldn't be able to respond, but he read them anyway.

The first two were random funny things that had happened in Warbler's practice, the third a question about a song, but the last two were increasing more worried. The 4th inquired if he was okay and the last blatantly asked if something was wrong. That one made him feel even worse, because he was again causing Blaine pain, but he still couldn't bring himself to text back.

Finally, he listened to the message from his therapist, who said that he was available at 8:00. Kurt immediately responded with a yes, thank you, then realized it was already 7:30. He knew he would miss dinner and that he'd have to explain his absence to his dad and Carole, but talking to his therapist was of the upmost importance.

Kurt took a few minutes to get himself together and went downstairs. Carole was in the kitchen putting some rolls in the oven and when she saw him she looked up and smiled.

"Hey, I heard you had a long day." She said.

"Something like that." He said, as he tried to smile back.

She walked over and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek before reaching over and getting something from the refrigerator.

"Dinner will be ready shortly." She said over her shoulder.

"Yeah, about that. I think I might have to have you make me a plate for later."

She turned back to him with a concerned look. "Oh, is everything alright?"

"Everything's fine." He said, trying to sooth her. "I just have a call at 8:00 that I can't miss and it will probably last at least an hour, so I think I'll just grab a bowl of fruit right now to tide me over and I'll come down later and eat." Even as he said this, he knew he wouldn't be hungry after his call with his therapist, but he didn't want her and his dad worrying anymore than necessary.

"That's fine sweetie. Want me to cut up some fruit for you?"

"No, I got it." He said, already reaching into the fridge and pulling out random fruit he'd sliced earlier and throwing them in a bowl. "Tell dad I'm sorry I have to miss dinner." He said before heading up the stairs. He needed to get his head together before he talked to his therapist.

Three hours later, Kurt lay on his bed, emotionally exhausted. He had spent almost two hours on the phone with his therapist and didn't think he had even one tear left in him after the fact. After all was said and done, he did feel a little less guilty. His therapist helped him realize that although his actions might have led to Blaine doing something drastic, he wasn't directly responsible, and in the end, the 6 months that they've spent apart, although horrible painful and emotionally scaring for both of them, it might have been what they both needed to grow, individually, so that they could be stronger together.

Through his conversation with his therapist, his texts were especially quiet. He'd gotten one from Blaine that seemed final and he knew he wouldn't hear anymore back from him, although he kept hoping. The ball was in his court, so to speak, but he wasn't quite sure what to say.

There were many ways to handle it. He could play it off and say sorry, it was a crazy day, or I was an idiot and forgot to plug in my phone, or I was with dad and Carole and didn't want to be rude, or he just needed some time, but when it all came down to it, he knew he didn't want to start this new, growing relationship off with lies.

He also was afraid to send a text saying they needed to talk because he didn't want to freak Blaine out and make him think he was leaving or something. So he lay in bed after his phone therapy session just staring at the ceiling, trying to figure out what to say to Blaine.

He finally decided that calling him would be best, because he really couldn't convey what he was feeling through text, but he was scared. He knew he sounded wrecked and again, he didn't want to scare Blaine. He was already so emotional and felt guilty about adding to that, but he knew he what he had to do, so with shaky hands, he pushed the call button and waited.

It only took one ring. Kurt pictured Blaine sitting on his bed at home holding his phone, waiting for Kurt to text.

"H-hello." Came the almost shy voice, and the moment he heard Blaine's voice, Kurt's eyes welled up again.

"Blaine." Kurt said, his voice tortured.

"Kurt." Blaine automatically went into protection mode, his voice a little shaky. "What's wrong?" Kurt was silent for a moment, then he made a decision.

"I-I know it's late, but can I see you? Can we talk?" Kurt asked hesitantly. There was silence from Blaine's end and Kurt's stomach dropped.

"I-I don't know. Can you just tell me what's wrong, please?"

"It's nothing bad, I promise. Well, not really. I-I just don't know what to say." Kurt said, the last part coming out as a small sob. The tears that had been welling up were now flowing down his face.

"Kurt, you're scaring me." Hearing that had Kurt crying almost uncontrollably. He didn't want to scare Blaine. He didn't want to hurt Blaine. He was the cause of all this. It was all his fault and now he was screwing things up even more. God he was such a idiot.

Blaine was holding his phone so tight he thought it might crack and his hands were shaking, but he made sure to let Kurt know he was still there. "Shhh, it's ok. I'm still here. I'll wait." He assured him.

It took another minute for Kurt to calm down enough to talk, although his voice was very gravely and there were tears still streaming down his face, he knew he owed Blaine an explanation.

"We need to talk and I want to see you so bad, but I'm also afraid." Kurt said finally, though not really explaining anything.

"What are you afraid of?" Blaine asked, not sure if he really wanted to know.

"That it's too soon." Kurt answered.

"What's too soon?" Blaine was the one who'd told Kurt he needed time and now Kurt was saying it was too soon. What if Kurt changed his mind. What if he'd realized that they didn't belong together after all. What if he didn't want to wait for Blaine to be ready.

Kurt realized Blaine was starting to breath heavily, so he said his name. Kurt's voice pulled Blaine out of the rant going on in his head. Kurt just wanted to reach through the phone and hug Blaine, but then again, he didn't know what he was actually allowed to do. Blaine was the one that said he needed time and that he wanted to take this slow. And now, with what Kurt learned today and trying to deal with all the guilt he was feeling, he wasn't sure if even time would make this better, but Blaine deserved an explanation.

"I-I talked to Rachel today." Kurt said after too many moments of uncomfortable silence. Blaine didn't speak, just waited for Kurt to continue. "She, uh, she might have mentioned something, um...God, I don't know how to say it."

Blaine sighed. "Kurt, at this point, I just need to know what's going through your mind. Please. Don't be afraid. Just please, just talk to me, please."

"Ok." Kurt said softly. "She might have eluded to the fact that after we broke up you tried to..." He paused and took a deep and shaky breath. "Blaine, did you try to hurt yourself? Because of me?" His voice dropped off in another sob and Blaine gasped, almost dropping the phone.

He knew this would come up eventually, but he wasn't prepared to deal with this now. What was he supposed to say? He was just stupid and none of it was Kurt's fault, but he also knew Kurt well enough to know that's what he was thinking. He was blaming himself. That's why he went radio silent all day. He was blaming himself.

"Oh Kurt, no." He tried to calm Kurt down. He could still hear the almost silent sobs from the other end of the line.

"Did you, Blaine? Did you?" Kurt asked, desperate to know.

"Kurt, we can't...not over the phone, ok? We can't...I can't..."

"Blaine please, I just need to know."

"Give me 15 minutes." Was the response, then he hung up.

Kurt sat there stunned just staring at his phone. Why had Blaine hung up and why did he need 15 minutes? Then it dawned on him...Blaine was coming over. He knew it was the right thing. He knew they needed to do this face to face. Should have from the beginning. That's why Kurt asked him to come over right away, but then it seemed easier, over the phone.

Kurt wasn't sure he'd be able to handle this. Didn't know if he could actually look Blaine in the eyes and not crumble to pieces from the guilt tearing him apart from the inside out. He realized he was shaking and that his eyes had to look horrible and bloodshot and puffy and no, he couldn't see Blaine like this, he couldn't...

He ran into the bathroom quickly, splashing water on his face and running his fingers through his hair. By the time he'd gotten himself together a little bit, he heard the knock on the door.

He couldn't make it downstairs fast enough, but once he got to the door he froze, his hand still on the door knob. As soon as he opened the door, he knew he'd have to face the truth. Could he do it? He wasn't sure, but he knew he had to try. For himself and for Blaine. So, with shaky hands, he opened the door.


	7. Stripped Bare

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N I am so sorry for leaving you with a cliffhanger. It wasn't intentional, but it felt like that was where the chapter needed to end. I also feel like I need to apologize for the continual angst. I swear, I didn't plan for things get serious again, but they had other plans. Every time I think about season 6 and the way they screwed them over I just get so pissed! I guess I can see Kurt breaking up with Blaine like he did in the first episode (which I still refuse to watch the first 5 episodes), but I think he would have realized his mistake much sooner and they would have been back together quickly.
> 
> But, since that didn't happen in canon, I wanted to fix them without the whole dating DK fiasco. Even though I didn't see the episodes, I did see a few clips and one that stood out to me was Blaine being so depressed that he couldn't even play music, so I figured he had to have been in a pretty dark place for a while. This is my way of explaining a friendship between DK and Blaine without a relationship and also let's Kurt know exactly how much he messed Blaine up.
> 
> I don't think that was touched on at all when they finally got back together, but nothing was really settled considering they got back together and married in the same episode (which still pisses me off). Don't get me wrong, I'm happy they got married, but they way it was so rushed and shared with Santana and Brittney was not at all what they deserved.
> 
> OK, I'm done ranting, sorry. I hope you are all enjoying the story, even with all the angst. This is the longest chapter to date but I just couldn't break it up.

Chapter 7

Stripped Bare

On the drive over, Blaine was gripping the steering wheel so tight, he was surprised his hands weren't permanently attached by the time he arrived. His entire body was vibrating. He was trying to figure out how to explain everything to Kurt and tried to go over every scenario in his head.

When he made it to the door, he thought he'd calmed himself down enough to explain everything to Kurt, but as soon as the door opened and he took one look at Kurt, he threw himself over the threshold and into Kurt's arms.

Yes, he'd told Kurt he needed time and wanted to take things slow, but not touching Kurt was driving him crazy. All their fun texts and calls this week had felt so much like it had before, but also different. He could tell they had both grown and he found himself falling harder and harder for this version of Kurt.

Of course he still loved Kurt. He hadn't stopped, even when Kurt shut him out. Through all his therapy he realized that it was okay to still love him. They'd been together for a long time and had been each others firsts in all the ways that counted. It was the love that Blaine still felt for Kurt that caused his outburst at the bar too, he realized. He was angry at Kurt, sure, but he was angry at himself for still having those feelings, and he projected all that anger onto Kurt.

And now, after their second talk and their conversation earlier, all Blaine could think about was holding Kurt and never letting go. Of course he didn't realize that's what he felt until he laid eyes on Kurt for the first time in over a week.

He knew he loved Kurt and missed him and God, his whole body was tense knowing they had to endure yet another emotional conversation tonight, but now that he was actually holding onto Kurt, he felt a sense of peace and rightness. It's as if everything became unimportant the moment they came together again. And Blaine knew then, no matter how hurt and angry he'd been, he still loved Kurt with everything in him. He knew it wasn't going to be easy, but nothing felt more right than Kurt in his arms and in his life, forever.

Blaine felt the wetness of Kurt's tears through his shirt and that brought him back to reality. He needed to explain what happened to Kurt and he was scared. He could tell by the tone of Kurt's voice on the phone and the way he was clinging onto Blaine, that he felt guilty, felt responsible for Blaine's own stupidity. He had to make Kurt see that he was not to blame. As soon as he could let him go.

Blaine loosened his grip slightly and Kurt took the hint, pulling back and putting distance between them once again. Blaine immediately felt the loss, his heart already hurting at the space between them.

As soon as he made eye contact with him, Kurt crumbled.

"Oh God Blaine, I'm so s-sorry. I knew I'd messed up but, oh..." Kurt turned white and looked like he was going to throw up, so Blaine quickly steered him to the couch and settled in beside him, close but not crowding.

"Breathe baby, breathe. It's alright." Blaine knew he should try to maintain distance again, but he couldn't help himself, reaching out and running his hand up and down Kurt's back in a soothing manner. "When you calm down, I'll explain everything, ok?"

Whether it was Blaine's gentle touch or his words, Kurt's breathing slowed and he no longer looked translucent. Kurt was wringing his hands together as he tried to gain control of his emotions, and he kept his eyes on the floor refusing to look at Blaine, but Blaine wasn't having it.

"Hey," he said, placing his hand over Kurt's. "Look at me please." Kurt shook his head and Blaine wanted to chuckle at his petulance, because the last thing Blaine really wanted to so was to see the guilt in Kurt's eyes, but he knew he needed to do this face to face. "Please, I need to explain and I need you to see my face when I do."

Again Kurt shook his head. "I don't know if I can." He said so softly that Blaine almost missed it.

"Yes you can. I know this is hard, believe me. These last few months have been awful," he felt Kurt tense at that and he continued quickly, "and I know things were bad when you came back too, but since we've been talking it's been, well, it's still hard, but it's getting easier."

Blaine kept a steady hand on Kurt's back as he spoke. "Look, I didn't want to have this conversation over the phone because I want to be able to look at you when I explain, so please look at me." Something in the tone of his voice must have gotten through to Kurt, because he slowly lifted his head and glanced up at him through wet lashes. Blaine's breath caught. Kurt was in pain and that made Blaine hurt too, but he'd also never looked more beautiful.

Kurt was shaking when he finally locked eyes with Blaine and he was sure he was going to stop breathing any second. For the first time since they'd seen each other again, he could see complete openness in Blaine's eyes, and he was glad, but also scared to death. Because he knew that all of Blaine's pain was his fault and anything that Blaine did after they broke up was because of him, and God how was he going to live with that?

"Hey, stop." Blaine said gently, when Kurt began to shake and breathe heavy again. He knew what was going through Kurt's mind and he needed to stop it now. "The first thing I'm going to say is very important, so please listen, ok?" He continued, not waiting for a response. "Nothing that happened after we broke up was your fault."

Fuck, Kurt thought, did I say that out loud? But then he realized that Blaine just knew him so well, he could almost read his inner thoughts.

The complete look of shock on Kurt's face told Blaine he was exactly right assuming Kurt was trying to take all the blame, but he also needed to tell Kurt what happened and explain everything.

"So, we talked before about how broken I was after..." His voice cracked a little and he cleared his throat. His heart was pounding in his chest and he felt a weight that had been there since Kurt stopped replying to his texts earlier in the day. God, this was harder than he thought.

"You know I had some problems adjusting to everything after you cut me off." He shook his head and almost laughed at his words. "Hell, that's an understatement. I was beyond fucked up. As I told you before, I put everything I had into our relationship and when it was gone, I realized I didn't even know who I was anymore."

He took a shaky breath and felt Kurt move slightly away from his hand that was still on his back, but he couldn't bring himself to remove it. He needed this connection in order to get through what he had to say.

"I was so depressed that I got kicked out of school." Kurt's sudden intake of breath and wide eyes surprised Blaine, until he realized that Kurt must have thought he'd dropped out all this time. Shit. Kurt scooted away then and Blaine could see fresh tears cascading down his cheeks, which brought tears back to his own eyes.

This was going to be a long night.

"Kurt, none of this was your fault, ok? I swear. It's my fault. I lost myself. I let myself get consumed with making you happy and forgot about myself. A-and I'm not saying that making you happy wasn't important, but I forgot about making myself happy, and because of that I lost a part of myself. I was...God, I am not saying this very well."

He felt cold all the way to his bones sitting and not touching Kurt, who had scooted back against the side of the couch and even though there was only a few feet separating them, it felt like miles. Although Kurt had backed away, he was still looking at Blaine, but the guilt and sadness he saw in those beautiful eyes was just tearing Blaine up on the inside.

"I got depressed, ok, like really, really depressed." Kurt jumped when Blaine spoke again and Blaine's arms ached to reach out and hold him, but he held himself in check knowing Kurt needed his space. "My parents were worried, but they left me alone, hoping I'd work it all out myself. I wouldn't eat, I stayed in bed all day, but didn't sleep, and I never came out of my room." He let out a harsh laugh. "It was probably easier for them that way."

"Anyway, one day something...happened." Blaine's voice trailed off, bracing himself for what he needed to say. His body was vibrating and he couldn't sit anymore and not touch Kurt so he got up and started pacing the living room. "My phone, it was dead, at least I thought it was. I let it die because I didn't want to hear from anyone. I couldn't stand the sympathy in their voices, since I knew everything was my fault."

Kurt opened his mouth to interrupt, but Blaine just seemed to be babbling while he paced, so he just let him continue.

"And I couldn't handle the letdown I felt every time I looked at my phone and there was no message from you." Kurt felt a sharp pain in his chest, like he'd just been stabbed, and quickly covered his mouth with his hand to stop the sudden sob that threatened to escape at Blaine's confession. Oh God, this was worse than he thought, and Blaine wasn't even to the heart of the story yet. Kurt wasn't sure if he'd make it through without his heart completely breaking but he continued to listen.

"Mom apparently thought she was helping by plugging in my phone, but I didn't know she'd done it, so as I was laying there in the dark, alone, my phone began ringing. And that wouldn't have been bad in itself, but the ringtone was y-yours...Teenage Dream. M-my heart stopped beating for a moment and I scrambled over to the phone thinking that you were finally reaching out, but when I looked at the screen it was only Cooper. I guess he thought it would be funny to confuse me when he called and changed it last time he was home, but I, I didn't know, so..."

Blaine stopped then, bending over with his hands on his knees, breathing heavily and trying to hold in the pain that he felt was escaping through his pores. Kurt sat frozen on the couch but could feel the pain coming off Blaine in waves. How had they become this? How had they done this to each other?

After a moment, Blaine regained control and straightened up. "S-sorry about that." He said, then took a shaky but deep breath. "When...when I realized it wasn't you, all the pain that I'd been able to push down bubbled back up to the surface and I realized that you were never going to call, that you didn't care anymore, that it was really over and..." Kurt tried to interrupt and tell Blaine that it wasn't true, that he had always cared, but he held his tongue. He needed to hear this and he needed to allow Blaine the time to tell it, as much as it was tearing him apart to hear.

"I've never felt pain like that in my life. I-I couldn't breathe. It left like someone had reached into my chest and pulled out my heart. I felt alone, God I'd never felt so alone and I just thought that everyone would be better off if I just wasn't around anymore." With that thought finally out there, Blaine leaned back against the wall and closed his eyes. He just couldn't bring himself to look at Kurt. He knew he should, but was so afraid of what he would see in his eyes.

"It was like a light bulb went off in my brain then and I had to figure out the fastest way to..." He didn't finish but Kurt heard it loud and clear. "So I ran into my parents bathroom and found my mom's stash of Percocet from when she'd sprained her ankle playing tennis and I took it back to my room. I considered leaving a note, but figured nobody would care anyway, so I took a couple pills..."

Blaine heard Kurt's muffled sobs, but still couldn't bring himself to open his eyes. Not just yet. "My phone lit up with a message or something and in the dark I could see my lock screen picture, which was still that picture of you and I from the loft the day I moved in the second time. A-and suddenly everything stopped. The picture went dark within seconds but that's all the time it took for me to realize what I was doing."

Blaine opened his eyes, pushed himself off from the wall and walked slowly back toward the couch, finally meeting Kurt's eyes again and the sight took his breath away. Kurt's eyes were red and swollen and his hand still covered his mouth to keep his crying from waking up his dad and Carole. If there was one thing he hated, it was hurting Kurt and seeing him so broken was killing him, but he knew he was almost finished.

"I grabbed my phone and began looking through all my pictures of us. I hadn't even been able to see a picture of you without crying for hours, but for some reason, looking at your picture this time made everything clear. I realized I was making a terrible mistake. Even if you hated me, you still would have been upset if I'd...gone through with what I was trying to do. I thought about Burt and how he'd have to be the one to tell you, and, and you two have just been through so much, I just couldn't cause you pain like that, so I returned the pills to my mom's room and went back to bed."

By this point, Blaine had found his way back to the couch and sat down on the opposite end, not wanting to crowd Kurt.

"I-I slept the rest of that day and halfway into the next one. My parents got suspicious when they couldn't wake me up very easily the next morning, but I never did tell them what I did. I asked to see a therapist that day." Blaine pulled one leg up on the couch and turned to face Kurt. "So see, you actually saved me." He said quietly.

Silence settled around them, the only sound coming from behind Kurt's hand and occasional sniffles from Blaine. Neither took their eyes off each other, but both seemed to be afraid to move.

Finally, after what seemed like hours but was in actuality only a couple of minutes, Kurt moved, well, he launched himself at Blaine throwing his arms around Blaine and buried his face in his neck. Blaine could feel Kurt's hot tears and felt his mouth moving, obviously speaking, but Blaine couldn't understand anything. He tried to pull back a little, but Kurt attached himself to Blaine and wouldn't let go. Finally, Blaine brought his arms up and around Kurt, sliding one hand up to his head, trying to move him back.

Kurt allowed the slight movement, turning his mouth so it was just below Blaine's ear. It was then he heard what Kurt had been saying.

"I'm so sorry, so sorry, oh God. I'm sorry for everything. What would I have done? God, I almost lost you, I came to close and didn't even know it. Oh God, I"m so sorry, so sorry, please forgive me. I am an awful person for almost pushing you to...I'm just sorry."

Blaine could feel Kurt's hot breath on his neck as he just kept repeating how sorry he was, over and over, and Blaine just held on as tight as he could until Kurt got himself under control. He knew Kurt hearing everything would hurt, but he was honestly surprised at how Kurt was reacting. For the last 6 months, he had convinced himself that Kurt didn't love him anymore and wanted nothing to do with him.

Hearing and seeing Kurt's visceral reaction had him stunned. He could feel Kurt shaking in his arms, feel his tears soaking his neck, feel his breath, hear his sobs. Blaine could literally feel the pain coming off of Kurt and it wasn't until that moment that he knew, without a doubt, that it would all be ok.

Sure, it sounds like a weird time to have such a positive epiphany, but all this time, Blaine had been hurt and angry and blamed Kurt for everything. After therapy and the time they spent apart, growing, learning about themselves, without each other, it was all clear. They were destined to be together, but because they had met so young, they hadn't finished growing up and didn't know how to be apart as adults.

And even after all the pain and hurt they'd both been through, they both knew they belonged together. They were soulmates who just happened to find each other a little too soon.

Now they'd both grown, worked on themselves and it was time for them to be 'them' again. He felt it in his bones. He just needed to tell Kurt.

"I can't believe I'm actually saying this but this time apart, even though it was the most painful and awful thing I've ever had to go through, I think it was good for us. We needed this time to grow into adults separately although it didn't have to be so drastic or extreme, but then again, you and I never so anything by halves, do we?"

Kurt's mouth twitched in a small smile and he shook his head. "So, where do we go from here?" He asked quietly, afraid of the answer.

"I think we start off slow. We continue to do what we've been doing...getting to know each other again." He reached his hand out and brushed his fingers against Kurt's cheek.

Kurt's skin tingled at the contact and he shivered. He was scared. He still didn't know where they stood and he needed to know. They'd always been honest with each other in the past and they needed to continue to do so.

"I wouldn't have been able to live if you had gone through with it, you know? I can't live in a world without you in it. That's why I came back. After all my therapy, I realized that I would never be happy without you in my life. And after what you just told me, knowing how close I almost came to losing you for good..." He held in a sob. "But, I just need to know..." He paused and looked into Blaine's eyes with a pleading look. "A-are we together? Or just friends?" His voice shook on the last word, worried that Blaine would say he wasn't ready again.

"I-I'm, um, I don't know." Blaine finally answered.

"Look, I completely understand you needing time, but I have to be honest with you." He looked at Blaine and saw him nod slightly and he continued. "I was serious when I said I came to win you back. Even though I started all of this and was too stubborn talk or listen at the time, you need to know that the last 6 months I spent without you were the worst months of my life. And while I agree that it was good for us in the long run, I hate that we both hurt each other so much."

Blaine nodded, but could sense he wasn't finished and stayed quiet, waiting.

"And while you might not be ready to forgive me, nor am I ready to forgive myself, I need you to know that I love you." He choked up after finally admitting that out loud and took a minute to study Blaine while he got him self under control again.

There were tears in Blaine's eyes, and at first Kurt took that as negative, until he looked deeper and saw the same tenderness that he used to see, before the breakup and all the mess since.

Kurt took a couple of deep breaths and spoke again, his voice stronger and more sure. "I never stopped loving you. You need to know that. I know I have been stupid and, well let's not rehash it all, but now, after tonight and realizing how much I really almost lost, I just...ugh!"

He groaned in frustration. He had so much to say but felt like he wasn't making himself clear. He would do whatever Blaine wanted, of course, but he was ready now. He wanted Blaine back...in his life, his heart, his house and his bed.

"I just want you back!" He said, exasperated with himself for not being able to voice everything right. Blaine's eyes widened and he sat back a little on surprise. Kurt saw this and immediately reigned himself in. "Sorry. I am just not explaining myself well. I'm ready, ok. I am more than happy to wait until you are ready...I-I mean if you ever are ready." He stumbled over his words when he realized that Blaine had never really said he wanted to get back together.

Sighing, he put rubbed his hands over his face. "I'm just going to lay it all on the line, ok?" He watched as Blaine nodded, he eyes still open and questioning. "I love you more than anything in this world and I always have. I don't know what you want as far as moving forward, but I know that I want to be with you. I want us to be together again. I want you to come home. And more than anything, I want to be your husband." The last part was said softly, but with conviction.

Blaine's eyes widened even more than before and his mouth dropped open. He just sat and stared. He couldn't believe what he'd just heard. After everything that had happened these last 6 months, not to mention the last two weeks, Kurt still wanted to be with him...said he'd never stopped loving him. And now, after being the one to break off their engagement, he was saying he was sure he wanted to marry Blaine. It was all such a shock.

Blaine had convinced himself that he wasn't worthy of Kurt, nor was he the type of person that anyone would want to marry, especially Kurt, and now, he had no idea how to process everything. It was a lot to take in and he felt so raw after their earlier conversation.

He's not sure how long he sat, just staring, but when Kurt started fidgeting with his fingers and dropped his eyes, breaking their contact he could feel Kurt start to slowly pull away. Blaine wanted to reach over and take his hand and comfort him, but his thoughts were in turmoil and he had no idea how to handle what he was feeling, so he just took a breath and tried to answer Kurt as honestly as he could.

"Kurt, I...this, this is a lot, ok." He knew his voice was shaky and he was stumbling over his words, but he couldn't control his emotions, he was just overwhelmed. "After this week and tonight and everything...I, uh, think I just need some time to figure out where my head is and what I'm feeling."

Kurt tried to mask the pain on his face, but Blaine could see underneath Kurt's hard facade, and knowing he was responsible for hurting Kurt yet again was almost his undoing. Not to mention his inner voice was adding it's own dialogue. Are you crazy? What do you mean you need time? You know what you want and he's sitting right there in front of you!

He shook his head to try and calm his brain's commentary and he stood up quickly. Kurt hadn't moved, his hands clasped together, his chin on his chest, eyes on the floor. Blaine looked down from where he was now standing, willing himself to move or talk or something, but he was frozen too. Was he willing to walk away this time? If he did, would they ever be the same?

He could feel the hurt coming off Kurt in waves and that was the last thing he wanted. But knew he was being stupid, but he was also so afraid. He didn't know if he had the strength to open himself back up again.

"Just, um, give me some time to think, ok?" He said quietly, breaking the overwhelming silence in the room. Kurt didn't answer but Blaine saw him nod slightly. He turned then and walked toward the door his feet feeling like lead with every step. His inner voice was screaming at him now to stop and think about what he was doing, but he continued walking, sparing a glance back and what he saw nearly tore him apart.

Kurt shoulders were shaking in silent sobs and his arms were wrapped around his middle as if he was trying to hold himself together. Blaine stood by the door for a moment and just stared. His heart was racing so fast and he was trying to figure out what he should do. After a long moment, he turned the knob and slipped out the door.

As soon as Kurt heard the click of the door echo through the room he came apart. His entire body felt like it had shattered once again into a million pieces and this time he knew he wouldn't be able to put himself back together. He had laid it all on the line and now he had his answer, it was over. And it was his own fault, really. He deserved it. It was his fault after all. He started it all 6 months ago, and yes, they had grown since them, but maybe he'd just hurt Blaine too much. Maybe after everything, they just weren't meant to be together. Kurt fell forward, his face in the pillows to muffle his sobs.

On the outside, Blaine leaned against the door while he yelled at himself in his mind. What in the hell are you thinking? How could you walk out like that? He just told you everything you wanted to hear. Everything. Why are you leaving? You know you still love him...you've always loved him. Why do you need more time? What could you possible think about? The love of your life is just inside that door waiting for you to come back to him. What'll it be, idiot?

Blaine just stood there, not able to make himself move from the door, because deep down he knew what the right choice was. Everything that Kurt had said was all he wanted. He wanted it all back. He wanted to go home. Kurt had actually asked him to come home. And he wanted to so badly. He knew this time they could make it through. They were older, stronger, smarter. He didn't see anything else in his life but Kurt.

These past 6 months had taught him that he could stand on his own and he knew he continue to do so, but he didn't have to, nor did he want to. Kurt was telling him that they could make it through. They were destined to be together. They were soulmates, after all. He felt that in the deepest corner of his heart. He'd known that from the moment they met but it took him time to realize that back then. And 6 months ago, it was Kurt that was questioning it. But now they both were finally on the same page. They knew they were meant to be together.

And what had Blaine just done? He'd left Kurt, walked away, just like Kurt had done to him 6 months ago. Blaine had taken the cowards way out because he was scared. Weren't they supposed to have grown, he asked himself.

As he stood there, beating himself up, one word suddenly came to his mind, and he almost laughed out loud in the midst of all this mess they'd created. Courage. That's what he had texted Kurt that first day they met...courage. That's what their relationship was based on...courage. Blaine knew that's what he needed to have now...courage.

As he stood on the porch in the dark, he realized he did have courage. He knew he'd grown, he knew he was a better person. He knew Kurt had grown and was a better person. He could tell.

So why was he trying to protect his heart from Kurt? There was no need. It had always been Kurt's and would always be Kurt's. All he needed was the courage to take another chance on love.

It's funny that it came down to that word again. Courage.

He repeated that word over and over in his head as he turned around and slipped back through the door quietly. His heart broke at the sight of Kurt, curled up on the couch, shoulders shaking, and he could hear the muffled sobs through the pillow.

He made his way quickly over to the couch and dropped to his knees beside Kurt. Blaine reached out and laid his hand on Kurt's back and he jumped, sitting up quickly and moving away from Blaine. Blaine felt a stab in his heart but he leaned back a little as to not crowd him.

"I'm sorry. God Kurt, I am so sorry. I don't need anymore time. I...you just surprised me and I thought I had to think about things, but I'm an idiot. I've done too much thinking and not enough feeling. All I wanted was for you to come back. Even though all this I know that you and I belong together. I know that." He realized he was talking fast and needed to slow down so Kurt really heard what he was saying.

He reached out and took Kurt's hand in his looking up at him from his place on the floor. "I love you." This statement said with a shaky but sure voice, and once he's said it, he felt like he could breathe again. He smiled then, bigger and brighter than he had in 6 months. "God, it feels so good to say that out loud!" He said chuckling. "I have never stopped loving you either. Even when I was hurt or angry or whatever, I still knew, deep down, that I would always love you."

Kurt sat on the couch in shock, listening to Blaine confess his love for him again and a feeling of belonging washed over him. His eyes welled up with tears, happy this time, and his breath quickened, just like always, when Blaine smiled.

"Really?" Kurt whispered.

Blaine's heart broke at the vulnerability he heard in Kurt's voice. Kurt was always so sure of himself and hearing him actually have to ask hurt. He knew he'd given Kurt every reason to think he didn't feel that way anymore, but that was over now.

Blaine sat up on his knees and leaned forward, his face just inches from Kurt's. He felt Kurt tense up but he didn't move, just locked onto his gaze.

"Yes, really. God Kurt, it's always been you. I meant what I said when I proposed...my soul knew from the moment we met that we were destined to be together. That's because you're my soulmate, Kurt. And after everything we've been through, that's the one thing that's never changed. You are it for me, and I love you so much. I thought I needed time, but it turns out, all I really need is you." He leaned in even closer then, his breath ghosting over Kurt's lips. "I'm ready to come home."

Kurt whimpered as his lips touched Blaine's for the first time in over 6 months and it was heaven. No other words could describe how incredibly perfect it felt to have Blaine's mouth on his again, to breathe his air again after so long, to have his heart again. Kurt's own heart felt like it was going to beat out of his chest at the sensation of rightness. As if everything in his life had led him to this moment.

Blaine felt whole again as soon as he kissed Kurt. He knew in an instant that nothing else mattered but this. Sure, he and Kurt still had a lot to talk about and work through, but he was certain that he'd made the right choice coming back as soon as his lips touched Kurt's again.

The kiss was tentative at first, just the gentle brush of lips getting reacquainted, gazes still locked. Once Kurt had the small taste of what he'd been missing, his eyes darkened and his hands came up to grip Blaine's face, pulling him into a messy, emotional kiss. He poured every thought and feeling he'd had for the last 6 months into it, their mouths fitting together like no time had passed.

Blaine's eyes closed and he moaned, finally tasting Kurt again. God had he missed this. Kissing Kurt had been his all time favorite pastime. Sure, he loved the intimacy and he really loved the sex, but kissing was always at the top of this list of favorite things to do.

He felt himself relax for the first time since they'd broken up and it felt so right. Kurt's hands released their grip on his face and slid around his shoulders, never stopping in one place, so happy to be allowed to touch again. Blaine's left hand was cupping Kurt's cheek, caressing his soft skin, while his right was on Kurt's thigh, holding him steady.

They continued to kiss, relearning the feel of each others mouths, so happy to finally be together. Blaine moved away from Kurt's lips for a moment, but only to begin raining kisses all over his face and down his neck, breathing him in. Kurt sighed and buried his face in Blaine's shoulder holding him tight.

"Stay, please." Kurt whispered into Blaine's neck. "I know tonight was crazy and everything is still so..."

"Raw." Blaine finished, and Kurt smiled slightly, pleased beyond belief that Blaine still understood him after all this time.

"Yeah, exactly. I just, I can't be away from you right now." The vulnerability in Kurt's voice made Blaine's body clench and he tightened his hold on Kurt.

"Me either, baby, me either." Hearing the pet name along with the husky tone in his voice sent a jolt of warmth through Kurt's body and he gently tugged Blaine off the floor and onto the couch, their bodies touching from chest to feet. Their legs automatically twined together and Blaine's arms slid around Kurt's hips, pulling him even closer, happy to be able to feel Kurt's heart beating against his chest again.

His face found it's natural place in the crook of Kurt's neck and he sighed in happiness, breathing in his scent that he'd missed.

"God Kurt," he moaned into his neck, "I missed you so much."

Blaine felt Kurt's breathing hitch and he immediately felt bad, thinking he'd pushed too far, until Kurt spoke softly into Blaine's hair. "I missed you too baby. More than I even realized. I love you so much and I promise to spend everyday showing you just how much. But right now, I just need to be close to you." He leaned back slightly doing the opposite of what he'd just said, confusing Blaine momentarily, until he added, "And kiss you."

Blaine's eyes turned dark at Kurt's words and he wasted no time leaning in to capture Kurt's lips in a passionate kiss. While their first kiss was full of love and emotion, this one was filled with lust and passion. It wasn't going to lead anywhere, they both knew that, but it was their way of showing each other that no matter how long they'd been apart, their bodies and hearts were still in sync.

They lay on the couch into the wee hours of the night, content to just be close to each other, breathing each others air, and sharing kisses. They didn't really talk, except to repeat how much they missed each other and exchange I love you's over and over, until they finally fell asleep, their lips still attached.


	8. Back Where You Belong

Burt Hummel woke up Saturday morning, happy to not have to work and spend the morning having a rare breakfast with his family. It had been nice having Kurt home.

He knew his breakup with Blaine had been hard. He didn't know the specific details but he did know that it was Kurt who called it off and it honestly hadn't surprised him.

There was no doubt in his mind that Kurt loved Blaine and Burt was sure they would find their way back to each other. But as much as Kurt wanted someone to love back in high school, he also worried that they were just too young to commit to forever.

He was proud of Kurt when he found out he'd started seeing a therapist. Kurt had a hard time letting people in and as much as he loved Blaine, Burt could see that Blaine seemed to be initiate most things in their relationship.

And sure, he'd made a mistake after Kurt left, but they made it though, seemly stronger than before. Burt was sure it was the engagement that spooked Kurt. He had no doubt Kurt wanted to marry Blaine, but he always worried about their age. He'd tried to talk to Kurt about how short time could be, but Kurt was stubborn.

When he heard Blaine had come back to Ohio, he wanted to reach out to him, but wasn't sure Blaine would want to talk to him, so he waited. When Kurt came home too, Burt knew he'd realized what he'd lost and came to get Blaine back.

It hurt him to watch his son and the boy he though of as a son in so much pain and he was so happy when they finally started talking again. He was planning to reach out to Blaine himself now and invite him to Friday night dinner and let him know this is where he belongs.

He and Carole both understood how precious time was after losing their spouses so young, and were reminded again when they lost Finn last year. He knew the loss had hit Kurt hard, just as it had when he'd lost his mother all those years ago. Kurt was a very strong person and he was also very good at pushing people away when he felt vulnerable.

Burt headed down to the kitchen with a plan to call Blaine about next Friday when he heard quiet breathing coming from the living room. Assuming Kurt fell asleep watching tv, he turned toward the couch and stopped in his tracks.

Burt couldn't help but smile at the sight in front of him. Kurt and Blaine were lying tangled on the couch, facing each other, as if they'd fallen asleep staring into each other's eyes. Blaine's hand still rested possessively on the underside of Kurt's jaw and Kurt's hand, now slack, looked like it had been twisted in the back of Blaine's shirt as if he was holding on for dear life.

He knew both of them had not been happy these last 6 months and it warmed his heart to see them together again. Kurt had been so different since the breakup. He didn't know the whole story of what happened in New York but he did know that Kurt regretted it. He'd not seen his real smile, the one that crinkled up his cheeks and reached his eyes since that day, until this past week when he and Blaine had begun texting again.

It felt like he finally had Kurt back this week but when he hadn't come down for dinner and Carole said he'd been crying, he figured Blaine told him they were over for good. He thought he'd wake up early, make coffee and try to talk to Kurt again. Turns out Blaine beat him to it.

He was sure they still had things to work out, but seeing them together like this gave him hope. Burt watched them for another moment before slipping into the kitchen to start the breakfast.

Kurt woke up to the smell of coffee, which was weird because he usually couldn't smell it from his room. He felt unusually warm and pleasant and resisted the urge to snuggle into his pillows before opening his eyes slowly.

He gasped when his eyes focused in on Blaine's face literally a breath away. It took him a moment before his brain allowed him to remember the precious night. So it hadn't been a dream. As he began to smile at that thought Blaine's eyes opened and his hazel gaze locked on his.

Kurt watched Blaine's eyes light up as he came to the same realization as Kurt had just moment before. It was real. They were here, together.

"Hi." Blaine breathed, his breath ghosting over Kurt's lips.

"Hi." Kurt returned just as gently. They just stared at each other for a long moment before Kurt said, "You're really here."

Blaine smiled and pressed his lips softly to Kurt's. "I'm here." He repeated, the same awe in his voice as he'd heard in Kurt's.

"Thank you." Kurt said. "For staying."

"Kurt," Blaine's voice was gentle and reverent, a voice Kurt hadn't heard in a very long time, and a sudden warmth spread through him. "I wouldn't want to be anywhere else."

Kurt pushed forward and caught Blaine's lips in a bruising kiss, pouring all his feelings into it, needing to show Blaine how much his words meant. They lost themselves in the overwhelming feeling of being together again, letting their lips and roaming hands do the talking.

This continued until a noise from the kitchen pulled them out of their bubble, and they broke apart, breathing heavily but smiling.

"Sounds like dad is up early today." Kurt said with humor in his voice.

Blaine's eyes lowered shyly when he realized Burt must have walked by them sleeping on the couch. Sure, Burt had seen he and Kurt in more compromising positions before, but he hadn't seen Burt since they'd broken up and he was a little embarrassed at being caught sleeping with Kurt like this.

This was also he first time he was back in this house he loved so much and being back here and more importantly in Kurt's arms, he'd never slept better.

"I guess that means we have to move, huh?" He half joked. He wanted nothing more than to stay here in the comfort of Kurt's arms. He was so afraid that once they moved, reality would set back in and they would be back to square one, all the progress from last night lost.

Kurt saw the fear flicker in Blaine's eyes and he leaned forward again, placing a soft kiss on his lips. He held Blaine's gaze as he spoke.

"Nothing is going to change, ok? I love you and I'm all in. I promise. I know we still have a lot to work through but today I just want to be close to you."

Tears welled up in Blaine's eyes. "Me too, baby. Can we just be together today and talk tomorrow? I don't think I can handle anything more right now."

"Of course. I'm pretty drained too, but I've also never felt happier."

"God Kurt, I love you so much." Blaine attached their mouths together again. Every time his lips touched Kurt's he felt like he could breathe again. It was like he hadn't taken a full breath in 6 months and the oxygen he'd needed was now right in front of him, and it felt amazing.

"I love you too." Kurt said when he finally pulled back from another mind blowing kiss. God, he'd missed kissing Blaine. How could he have forgotten how it felt to have Blaine's mouth on him? It was nothing short of perfect and he knew right then and there that he'd never leave Blaine again. He wouldn't survive. They were meant to be. Soulmates.

"Ready?" Kurt said, still breathless from Blaine's kisses. He loosened his hold on Blaine to allow him room to sit up.

Blaine nodded and spun around, turning his body and sitting up, placing his feet on the floor as quietly as possible. As he stood up, he glanced over his shoulder at Kurt still laying with his back pressed against the couch and smiled, reaching his hand out to help Kurt up.

Kurt looked up and matched Blaine's smile, allowing his boyfriend (were they boyfriends again) to help him up. Neither boy was willing to relinquish their hold on each other so they made their way into the kitchen with their hands still clasped between them.

Burt heard the two boys shuffling toward the kitchen and turned around to greet them, but Kurt beat him to it.

"Dad..." His tone was tentative and he could feel the tension coming off both boys. Burt could tell Kurt was trying to figure out how to explain Blaine being there and it was obvious they were both worried about his reaction, so he decided to put them out of their misery.

"Morning Kurt, Blaine. You boys want some coffee?" He looked at his son, hoping to convey to him that there was no explanation needed right now.

Kurt breathed a sigh of relief and felt Blaine relax a little and he smiled. He had the best dad ever.

"Yes, please." Kurt answered, pulling Blaine with him to get the mugs his dad had laid out on the counter. He watched as his dad added cream to both cups automatically and reached for the cinnamon, sprinkling some into Blaine's coffee.

A rush of warmth spread through his body with the sudden realization that his dad had missed Blaine too. He'd been a part of all their lives and when Kurt broke it off this last (and final) time, he had assumed they'd stayed in touch like they had done previously, but with their reactions this morning, he deduced that Blaine had cut off all contact this time around. That's why his dad had been asking about Blaine since he'd been back. He'd missed him. And judging from the look of awe on Blaine's face as he watched Burt prepare his coffee perfectly, as if no time had passed, he knew that Blaine had missed his dad just as much.

A jolt of guilt passed through him quickly with this revelation and he must have flinched, because Blaine was suddenly up against his side, releasing his hand and sliding it around Kurt's waist to pull him close. He turned his face to Kurt's ear and whispered "It's ok. I love you. That's all that matters right now."

A lone tear escaped Kurt's eye and he brushed it away quickly as he leaned his face into Blaine's curls, breathing in deeply, taking comfort from the familiar smell of Blaine's shampoo. He'd had other things on his mind last night, but he'd still noticed that when Blaine arrived, his hair had been damp and was free of product. Sure, he loved to tease Blaine about his curls, but they both knew he loved them, and he was quickly coming to realize that he'd missed everything about Blaine.

God, he'd been such an idiot. But that was all over now. Today was about being close to each other again, garnering strength from each other, so they could make it through the tough days ahead.

"What can I help with?" Kurt asked his dad after he'd pulled his nose out of Blaine's hair.

His dad grinned. "How about you make your special pancakes?" Kurt laughed at the hopeful faces of both his dad and his...Blaine before stepping away from Blaine's warmth and toward the cabinets to gather the ingredients.

Carole appeared just as Burt and Blaine moved to take seats at the table.

"Good mor...Blaine!" She exclaimed happily when she caught sight of him, heading toward him to wrap him in a tight hug. "We've missed you around here. How have you been?" Her voice soft.

Blaine returned Carole's hug with fervor and holding on probably a bit too long, but neither cared. He tensed a little at her question and Burt noticed, quickly stepping in.

"I hear you are working with the Warbler's now. I'll bet that's been interesting." Kurt's eyes met his dad's in a silent thank you, as Kurt placed a fresh cup of coffee in front of Carole.

Blaine was alive and animated as he talked about the Warbler's and hearing the excitement in Blaine's voice was like a soothing balm to his soul. Sure, they had a long way to go on their path to rediscovering each other, but Kurt knew they would get there and that made him happier than he had been in a long time.

Kurt finished the pancakes and was pleased when the conversation didn't falter when he sat down and they all began to eat, and when Burt brought up the fact that Kurt and Blaine's show choirs would be competing once again, the good natured teasing began. Burt looked over at Carole and they shared a small smile, so happy to have their boys back.

After breakfast was finished, Kurt stood up to gather the dishes and Blaine made to help, but Carole stopped him.

"I'll help Kurt. You stay here because I know for a fact that Burt is dying to ask you what you think of Ohio State's new quarterback. I try to talk with him about it, but I know nothing about this 'rookie' and he just gets frustrated with me, so please...discuss." She gave Burt a grin when she saw his face light up at the prospect of talking to someone who actually knows about football, and moved beside Kurt to help him clean up.

The conversation at the table had Kurt and Carole shaking their heads in amusement and Kurt could see everything so clearly now. This was where Blaine was meant to be. Here, at the Hudson-Hummel house, with his family, with Kurt.

And just when Kurt thought his heart could not get any fuller, he heard the tail end of his dad and boyfriend (yes, dammit, his boyfriend) conversation.

"It's good to have you back, Blaine."

"It's good to be here, sir."


	9. The Road to Recovery

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah, there might be a little more angst in this, but it's minimal, I swear. I just don't think that just because they are finally back together that everything will be all sunshine and roses right away (like they wanted us to believe in Season 6, Episode 8). There is no way after all the pain Blaine went through, all Kurt had to say was 'I know things were messed up before, but they are fine now' and all would be forgiven. Nope. So this is me, trying to be more realistic.

The two boys spent the rest of the day just being together. There wasn't a moment they weren't touching in some way, both so very aware of the other person.

They watched movies, cuddled up in the couch sharing a few kisses, but nothing too much. Neither pushed for anything more, just happy to be sharing each others space again.

Although their minds were heavy, they just tried to enjoy the feeling of being with each other again.

Blaine stayed for dinner and hung around to watch another movie with the family after dessert, and he could feel Kurt tense up more and more as the movie drew to a close. He knew the reason, because he was having the same feelings. They'd just found their way back to each other, and neither one wanted to separate again.

After the movie, Burt and Carole headed upstairs, knowing the boys needed some space, the tension in the room palpable.

Once they disappeared, Blaine pulled back a little and looked down at Kurt who had been cuddling on his chest throughout the movie.

"As much as this pains me to say, I really should go." He said, as quietly as possible.

Kurt squeezed him tightly before pulling back and looking at Blaine with wet eyes.

"I know. I just...I don't want you to. I just got you back and I feel like I'm losing you again." He said, his voice shaky.

"Baby, you aren't losing me. I just need to go home. Last night was...well, it was painful and eye opening and very necessary. And today has been amazing, but we both need to decompress. I'll come back over first thing tomorrow, I promise."

"I know. Logically, I know you are right. But I've just been so stupid and I'm so scared that you are going to get home and realize that you made a mistake and you really don't want to be with me." The fear in his voice broke Blaine's heart and he realized then that Kurt really had changed.

This was the first time in a long time that Kurt allowed his vulnerability to show and even though it hurt Blaine to see Kurt like this, it also gave him hope. Kurt wasn't putting up the walls he normally did when their discussions turned serious. He was allowing Blaine to see him striped down emotionally and Blaine had never been more sure that he'd made the right choice last night.

It took everything in him to untangle himself from Kurt and get up from the couch, but he did. He held his hand out and the look on Kurt's face almost broke him, so he pulled Kurt up and into his arms again.

"I'm sorry." Kurt mumbled against Blaine's neck. "I'm sorry I'm being so weak and needy."

"Shhhh." Blaine whispered. "Don't, ok. I feel it too. Having you back in my arms, in my life, it's everything. I'm not going to change my mind. I love you so much and as much as I want to just wrap myself up in you again, I need to step back for a moment." Blaine felt Kurt's sharp intake of breath and he hurried to amend his last statement. "No, no, I don't mean it like that. I mean I'm emotionally exhausted and I know you are too, and we need to just breathe. I'm in this for good and I'll be back tomorrow, ready to begin a new chapter in our lives." He felt wetness through his shirt and held on a little tighter. "As long as you are sure that's what you want."

Even after everything they'd been through in the last 24 hours, both boys were still a little hesitant with each other. Kurt pulled back out of Blaine's grasp and grabbed Blaine's face gently with his hands.

"I have never been more sure of anything in my life. Being without you was the hardest thing I've ever done and I hated myself everyday for being so stupid. So please believe me when I say that you are the most important thing in my life and I plan to spend everyday showing you how special you are. God, I love you so much and I am so lucky that you gave me another chance."

Blaine smiled. "Well, you gave me a second chance after I screwed up, so now we're even." Before Blaine could continue, Kurt had captured his lips in a bruising kiss.

"You know what that means?" Kurt said, smiling now too. Blaine shook his head. "It means we are stuck with each other forever."

"I like the sound of that." Blaine said, pulling Kurt down for yet another kiss, that led to three. This time it was Kurt that separated their mouths and bodies, taking a step back, but not releasing his hold on Blaine's shoulders.

"We need to stop before I resort to begging." Blaine laughed out loud at that. Kurt Hummel never begged. "Seriously," Kurt said. "As much as I don't want you to go, if you must, I want you to be safe, so you should leave before it gets too late." Blaine's bottom lip stuck out and Kurt groaned. "That's not fair. This was your idea. Put away the puppy dog eyes and pouty lip and go. The sooner you leave, the sooner I get to see you again."

Blaine stepped forward once again, pulling Kurt into a tight hug before pulling back abruptly and kissing him again, chastely this time.

"You're right, and I'm leaving. Just remember that I love you, ok?"

Kurt smiled softly. "I love you too. Text me when you get home, so I know you are safe." Kurt walked beside Blaine through the hall and opened the door, sneaking in one last kiss before waving goodbye.

Kurt stood by the window and watched as Blaine's car disappeared and an incredible sense of loneliness washed over him. In a daze, he turned off all the lights and made his way to his room where he flopped down on his bed, fully clothed. Within moments, he was crying into his pillow, his emotions crashing into him all at once. His heart was aching, already missing Blaine's presence even though it had only been a few minutes.

He understood Blaine's reasoning (sort of) but he just felt like he didn't want to let Blaine out of his sight. Things last night had been so tumultuous and today was a nice reprieve but he was still worried. He knew how badly he'd messed up and how it affected Blaine and with the way he'd been reacting to Kurt in the last few weeks, Kurt was honestly so scared that being away from Kurt he'd realize he still needed to be on his own.

So he allowed himself this release, using his pillow to muffle his sobs, so as not to wake up his dad or Carole. He wondered how he had anymore tears left in his body after the last few days, but they didn't seem to be in short supply.

Once he got himself somewhat under control, he pushed himself off the bed, shed his clothes and hopped into the shower, hoping the hot water would help ease the pain he felt radiating throughout his body.

The moment Blaine backed out of Kurt's driveway and onto the street he felt his heart constrict. Logically, spending the night at his own house was the right thing to do, but that didn't make it hurt any less. He felt the separation worse than any of the previous times they'd parted.

The last few weeks since Kurt got home, Blaine's emotional state had been like a tornado. Things had moved so fast and yet part of him didn't feel like it was fast enough. He'd been so incredibly mad at Kurt last week but after working through his emotions with his therapist, he'd finally been able to let go of the anger, and along with it, the hurt.

The sudden feeling of hope scared him but also excited him. He'd spent months separating himself from Kurt emotionally and being around him again was a challenge. The things Kurt said to him last night about wanting him to come home was exactly what Blaine had wanted to hear and he knew beyond the shadow of a doubt that Kurt had changed.

The thing that made Blaine leave was the question that he wasn't sure he could answer. Could he open himself up like that again? He knew without a doubt that he loved Kurt and he couldn't imagine himself with anyone else, ever. But was he really ready to jump back into a relationship? Could he trust Kurt again?

His thoughts kept him focused on the drive home but when he pulled into the driveway and looked at his house, the enormity of the situation crashed down and he felt like he couldn't breathe. Everything in him was telling him to turn the car around and go back to the Hummel's, back to Kurt. Why did he ever think being apart from Kurt again was a good thing?

He allowed himself a moment to gather his thoughts before he headed back inside, knowing his mom would be waiting and want to know everything. He wanted to tell her, but he was just to exhausted and could only focus on getting to his room as fast as possible so he could call Kurt.

He was able to hug his mom and gloss over everything quickly, promising her a full explanation once he'd slept. When he was finally in his room with the door closed, he pulled out his phone and pushed #1 (yes, even after 6 months, Kurt was still at the top of his favorites list). Kurt had said to text him but he needed to hear Kurt's voice. He was second and third guessing himself about coming home and even though Kurt had told him less than an hour ago that he loved him, Blaine still felt that fear of rejection.

As the phone rang, he moved around his room, undressing and redressing in pajama pants and a soft t-shirt. He was so focused on his task that he froze when his call went to voicemail. He quickly pushed end call and stared at the phone, not knowing how to feel. He took a moment to breathe before calling once more.

Again, his call went to voicemail, and that's when the panic began to set in. Maybe he's changed his mind. Maybe he's mad that I left. Maybe he turned his phone off. Maybe he doesn't want me anymore and was too scared to tell me, so he's choosing to ignore me. Oh God, Oh God.

He called two more times before he finally collapsed on the bed in tears. Why did he leave? Things were still so raw and he should have stayed so they could continue to work things out. Now they were apart and everything was awful again.

Blaine lost track of how long he lay there crying, wondering how things changed so quickly. On the way home, he was worried that he might not be able to trust Kurt and now he was a wreck because Kurt wasn't answering his phone. Blaine sat up suddenly. That was it. He was afraid. Still. Even after all this time. And if he wanted to be able to move forward with Kurt (and God, of course he did), then he needed to learn how to trust Kurt.

There was probably a good reason why Kurt hadn't answered his phone. Maybe the battery died, or maybe he left his phone upstairs while he was downstairs getting a snack.

So Blaine stood up and took a deep cleansing breath before reaching for his phone.

'I made it home safe and sound. I miss you. Call me if you get this message soon. I would like to hear your voice before I go to sleep.' -B

There. He'd texted Kurt like he promised and he left it in Kurt's hands. He realized then how exhausted he was. The last two days had been emotionally draining and he knew the next few would be as well. There would be a lot of talking and getting to know each other again, and now that he allowed himself to let go of the worry, he was actually looking forward to it.

After Blaine had turned off the lights and settled into bed his phone rang. He smiled and felt the butterflies take flight in his stomach when he realized it was Kurt.

"Hey." He said, not realizing his voice was still a little raw from his minor crying fit.

"Hey yourself." Kurt replied in a similar way. "You okay?"

"Yeah," Blaine said softly. "I'm just happy to hear your voice."

"Me too." Kurt replied. "I saw you called. I'm sorry I missed you. I decided to take a hot shower to help me relax." Even though Blaine told himself that Kurt hadn't ignored him on purpose, he still felt a shudder of relief course through his body. "Actually," Kurt said tentatively. "I might have had a mini freak out when you left. I-I'm just so surprised and utterly grateful that you are giving me a second chance, and having you back in my life is so..." Kurt stopped for a moment, his voice shaking. "I was just so scared that you wanted to go home to get away from me and that when you got home you'd realized you'd made a mistake."

"I did." The sudden intake of breath through the phone startled Blaine and he hurried to continue. "Oh baby, not like that. I mean I had my own mini freak out when you didn't answer and I realized that I made a mistake leaving you. I don't know why I thought coming home was a good idea. I..." Blaine paused to allow his brain to catch up to his mouth. "God Kurt, I love you so much and I'm scared too. I thought you'd changed your mind and were running again."

"Blaine." The pain in that one word sent daggers throughout Blaine's body.

"It's okay. It was just a couple minutes of insanity. I realized that I have to learn to trust you again, and that's why I sent you the text. I knew you were and are serious. It's just the moment I drove away I felt so..."

"Alone." Kurt replied.

"Exactly." Blaine said, so glad that Kurt understood and that they were both feeling the same things. "I don't know if I'll be able to get much sleep, but I promise that I'll be over first thing in the morning and we'll spend the whole day together. We have a lot to talk about and work out. Do you think, I mean, could I..."

"Please plan on staying tomorrow night. Tomorrow is going to be tough and I know we'll need each other. I know we both have work Monday morning, but I still want to you to stay. I-If you want."

"Yes, God yes. I'm not sure how I'm going to be able to go back to work and not see you all day. Can we go for coffee after school Monday?" Blaine asked, holding back a yawn. Laying in the dark and hearing Kurt's voice in his ear was allowing him to finally relax and he felt sleep trying to claim him.

Kurt was having the same feelings and after his hot shower, his body was pliant and warm, and he yawned after hearing Blaine, laughing at their silliness.

"I'm tired, but I don't want to hang up." Blaine said softly.

"Then we won't." Kurt replied sleepily.

They both fell asleep within minutes, listening to the other breathe.


	10. Magnets

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry again for all the angst, but I felt it necessary to stay fairly true to real life, and everything is usually all sunshine and roses in one day. I hope you are all still hanging in there with me. Thanks for reading.

Blaine didn't have a problem waking up early because he'd spent most of the night tossing and turning. He'd woken up on more than one occasion and reached for his phone, needing to hear Kurt breathing on the other end in order to help him drift back off to sleep.

Around 7:00 he heard Kurt's breathing pattern change and he took a chance.

"Are you awake?" He whispered, just in case he was wrong. He wasn't.

"Yeah." Came the immediate reply, Kurt's voice still gravely from sleep. "Have you been awake long?"

"On and off all night, but only for a few minutes this time." He said, still using a quiet voice, not wanting to break the spell.

"Same." Kurt said. "I'm glad we stayed on the phone, though."

"Oh yeah?" Blaine replied, smiling. He wondered if Kurt needed that connection as much as he did and he got his answer not a moment later.

"Yeah. I slept with the phone on my pillow with the speaker on so I could hear you breathing. It helped when I woke up in the middle of the night missing you."

Blaine sucked in a breath. His body was tingling with the knowledge that Kurt not only felt the same way, but admitted it. The Kurt from 6 months ago would have never acknowledged his feelings like that and the realization that Kurt had really changed was overwhelming.

Kurt mistook Blaine's noise and subsequent silence as a bad thing and immediately started stuttering. "I-I'm sorry. T-that was stupid to say and makes me look s-so needy. God, I'm so stupid."

Blaine was still in his own little world until he heard Kurt sniff, then he jumped to reassure him.

"Kurt, no. Oh God, no. Please don't think it was stupid. It actually makes me so happy to hear that. Not only because I did the same thing, but for the simple fact that you admitted it. Kurt." There was that tone again. That tone just did something to Kurt. It was like a lightening bolt coursed though his body every time Blaine said his name like that, with such feeling.

"Really?" Kurt questioned softly.

"Kurt, I can't begin to tell you how much it means to me to hear you actually express your feelings to me. To let me see your vulnerable side." Blaine had to pause, his voice shaky with emotion.

"Blaine?"

"Yeah."

"Please hurry up and get over here because I need to hug you so badly." Kurt's voice was dripping with desperation and Blaine felt it though the phone. He was up and off the bed like a shot.

"I'm hopping in the shower now and will be there as soon as I can. God, I love you so much baby, and I can't wait to see you." As he was speaking, he was stripping and had already turned the shower on.

"Leave your hair wet and curly. I need you here now." Kurt's tone had a hint of authority and Blaine shivered. He loved it when Kurt took charge and it had been too long since he'd heard that tone from Kurt.

"Saying goodbye now and I'll see you soon. Love you."

"Love you too and be careful. As much as I want you here fast, I want to safe too."

Blaine made a kissing noise into the phone and ended the call before sliding into the bathroom where he proceeded to take the quickest shower known to man.

Thirty minutes later, he was pulling up in front of the Hummel residence and he was practically vibrating with need. The need to see Kurt, touch Kurt, feel Kurt was almost too much and he made himself take a couple of breaths before he exited the car and headed to the front door.

He'd just taken his first step onto the porch when the door swung open and Kurt flung himself into Blaine's arms, nearly knocking the two down the steps. When he regained his balance, he immediately brought his arms around Kurt's middle and held him as close as he possible could. He tucked his face into Kurt's neck and let himself breathe in Kurt's scent, and for the first time since he'd driven away yesterday, he allowed himself to relax again.

They stood on the porch for a good five minutes, just holding each other, and it was the chill in the air that finally pulled them apart. They didn't separate much, though, just enough for them to walk somewhat clumsily into the house. Blaine made a move toward the couch but Kurt pulled him though the living room and up the stairs.

They didn't speak until they were into Kurt's room with the door closed, and even then, it was a whisper.

"I missed you so much." Kurt sighed into Blaine's neck, his breath tickling Blaine's still damp curls.

"Me too. I swear, I'm not letting you go again. Last night was torture." Blaine whispered back and Kurt could hear the double meaning of his statements.

Kurt lead Blaine to his bed and pulled him down next to him. Without losing contact with his hand, Kurt turned toward Blaine.

"Look, I know we have a lot to talk about and I don't want to continue to rehash what's already been said but I just..." He paused, cupping Blaine's cheek and making sure he was looking in his eyes. "I love you so much and I want you to know that I'm fully committed to you and to us. I know that I wasn't always the easiest person to be in a relationship with, but I promise I have changed."

Kurt took a deep breath but didn't let go of his hold on Blaine's face nor broke their eye contact. "Being apart from you for all those months, even though it was all my doing, still hurt like hell. There were some days I didn't think I'd get through. It took that and a lot of therapy for me to realize just how much I not only loved you and wanted you, but how much I needed you in my life. I don't feel complete without you, and I'm so sorry that I made you feel like you were not important to me, because you are everything."

By the end of Kurt's speech, both boys had tears running down their faces and they sported matching smiles.

"Kurt." And there it was, that tone of voice that made Kurt weak in the knees. Before he could blink, Blaine had leaned forward and placed a hard but chaste kiss on his mouth. He pulled back too quickly in Kurt's opinion but then he spoke and Kurt was fine with stopping.

"I-I..wow. You rendered me speechless." He said, only half joking.

"Huh, that only usually happens when I distract you with my mouth." Kurt joked back, happy to have the heaviness lifted a little. He saw Blaine's eyes darken at his comment and smiled, waiting for Blaine to get his thoughts back together.

"That's a conversation for later." He said with a smirk before returning to their previous topic. "Seriously Kurt, I can't tell you what it does to me to hear you say all those things. Believe me, I know you are sorry and as bad as it might sound, it helps me to know that it affected you too."

Kurt felt his stomach drop. Of course Blaine thought it didn't affect him. He was always so closed off about his feelings. Blaine wore his heart on his sleeve and was always the one doing grand gestures, showing and telling Kurt all the time how he felt.

That was the one truth he'd learned through therapy. Blaine loved with his heart and soul and gave everything in himself to Kurt, but Kurt kept himself closed off, even to the one person he loved the most in his life.

All that was about to change though. Kurt had already changed. He admitted he'd made a huge mistake and he finally worked through what led him to make it. He was different now, and so was Blaine, and he was ready to jump on with both feet, no reservations. And he was ready to show and tell Blaine everyday how important he was to him and how happy he was to have him back in his life.

"Oh baby. You need to know that those months literally tore me apart. I was lonely and heartbroken and stubborn and just plain stupid, and I promise that I will make sure to show you everyday how much you mean to me and how incredibly happy I am to have you back in my life. God, I love you so much."

He leaned forward then and kissed Blaine with everything he had, trying to convey at least a fraction of what he was feeling. Blaine's mind might have still been processing everything but his body responded immediately, his mouth opening the moment he felt Kurt's warm tongue against his lips.

Kurt surged forward, his hand sliding from Blaine's cheek to behind his neck, bringing him closer and tilting his head so his mouth slotted with Blaine's even more perfectly. Both boys moaned as their mouths got reacquainted and their bodies slid closer and closer to each other.

Heat flooded through Blaine's body and he tried to show Kurt just how much he missed him, not just last night, but the last half a year. God, he just wanted to push Kurt back onto the bed and cover him with his own body. He longed to feel Kurt under him again, but he didn't know if they were ready for that step yet.

Although the way Kurt was kissing him led him to believe they might be headed that way soon, so he pulled back slightly and smiled into Kurt's cheek as he held him. Kurt sighed, catching his breath and smiling when he felt Blaine's cheek move against his.

"Would you mind if we just cuddled?" Blaine asked quietly. "I really did not get much sleep last night being so far away from you."

"Hmmm. That sounds like an excellent idea." Kurt replied, leaning backwards and scooting under his covers before holding them up in invitation. Blaine's smile was so wide his eyes were all squinty and that was Kurt's favorite of all Blaine's smiles. He smiled back as he watched his boyfriend (God it felt good to think that again) crawl toward him. Kurt pulled the comforter over them as Blaine snuggled into Kurt's side and let out a contented breath.

Kurt's arms immediately circled Blaine, one hand on his hip, the other tangling in his hair. Kurt loved it when Blaine took a shower before bed because he loved running his fingers through the silky soft curls. As much as Blaine complained about his hair, he had to admit that Kurt rubbing his head was almost as good as sex. He was literally purring within seconds and before he drifted off he placed a gentle kiss on Kurt's chest, right over his heart and whispered, "I love you."

A warmth flooded Kurt's body at Blaine's soft words. "I love you too, baby. So much." He leaned down and placed a kiss on his head before allowing sleep to take over.

The boys were able to get another couple hours of sleep, content in the knowledge that they were together again, their bodies twining together, their warmth seeping into each other.

When they finally awoke, it was just before lunch and Blaine's stomach rumbling was vibrating against Kurt's arm, causing him to chuckle sleepily. He lifted his head off Blaine's chest and rested his chin on his hand right over Blaine's heart and smiled.

"Hungry?" He said, his voice groggy from sleep.

Blaine's eyes blinked open and he shuddered. Kurt's sleepy voice was one of his favorite things in the world. He just lay there for a moment, allowing everything to sink in. He was in Kurt's bed, back in Kurt's life, and he couldn't be happier. He smiled and was about to answer when his stomach growled again and he laughed.

"Yes, but I really don't want to get up. I'm too comfortable." Blaine said softly and Kurt smiled.

"I know what you mean. How about this. We'll go downstairs and have some lunch, then we'll come back up here and cuddle some more. I know we have a lot to discuss and I think it would be better to talk up here. Dad will be downstairs all day watching football and I think Carole was going shopping. She usually fixes a nice meal on Sunday too, so get ready for another family dinner." He knew Blaine said he was planning to stay but knew his dad would expect them for dinner.

"That sounds perfect. I've missed your family too." Kurt could hear the pure emotion in Blaine's voice and a look of guilt passed over his face. "I'm sorry. Don't feel bad, ok? I know I could have come over anytime. Your dad actually reached out to me a couple of times these past few months, but I just couldn't..." He stopped when his voice cracked.

Kurt scooted up so that he was on his side next to Blaine and cupped his cheek that wasn't against the pillow.

"I cannot apologize enough for everything I put you though, ok. But like I said before, I plan to show you every day and in as many ways as possible how much I love you and how sure I am that we are meant to be together forever.'' Kurt's eyes were wet but Blaine could see the sincerity shining in them and he could swear he felt his heart grow inside his chest.

He wanted to respond with words, but he couldn't get his mouth to form a sentence. Kurt had been rendering him speechless quite a lot in the last few days, so he decided to return the favor, leaning in and pressing his lips to Kurt's in response.

Kurt responded immediately, the hand on Blaine's cheek sliding around his neck and into his hair, causing Blaine to open his mouth and moan as Kurt's tongue slid in quickly and began mapping out it's territory.

Blaine's tongue responded and he slid his arm around Kurt's waist, pulling him closer, bringing their bodies flush together, causing both boys to moan simultaneously. They spent the next five minutes trading kisses, some passionate and dirty and some sweet, and their hands never stopped roaming each others bodies, but never going too far.

Kurt was sure he could have spent all day just making out with Blaine on his bed, finally being allowed to touch him again after so long was making him dizzy with happiness, but Blaine's stomach had other ideas. After the fourth time it growled, Kurt pulled back and laughed.

"You are such a boy." He teased. "Let's go get you fed. The sooner we eat, the sooner we can come back and continue this." He grinned at the look of disappointment on Blaine's face.

"Stupid stomach." Blaine grumbled, getting up and straightening his clothes and running his fingers through his hair before following his boyfriend downstairs.


	11. A Work in Progress

The two boys spend the entire day in Kurt's room talking, cuddling, kissing and occasionally crying. The time apart had been tough on both of them, but they were beginning to see just how much they'd both grown while apart and they were ready to start growing together, as a couple.

They decided that even though they would have to continue their jobs for now, their plan was to move back to New York together when Kurt's internship with New Directions was finished. In the meantime, even though both boys were living with their parents, they decided to not spend anymore nights apart. They planned to come up with a schedule so they wouldn't be imposing on either family, but when they told Burt and Carole their idea, they insisted the boys stay with them full time.

After all, Blaine had been a permanent fixture at the Hummel household for many years, and Burt said he wanted to keep his boys as close as possible for as long as possible. It was settled and Blaine decided he'd go back to his place Monday after school and pack his stuff so he could be 'home' in time for dinner.

Even though they had spent most of Sunday being lazy, they'd also had many emotional heart to hearts throughout the day, and had turned in early that night. Both had the best night sleep in months, their bodies and minds finally at peace.

Waking up and looking down to see Blaine's head on his chest had Kurt almost in tears again. He was so sure he'd messed up so badly that he wouldn't ever get Blaine back, and was so grateful for their second chance.

He felt Blaine stir and raised his hand to run it though his curls. He felt Blaine smile against his chest and his arms tightened around Kurt, causing his breathing to hitch. Blaine lifted his head and locked eyes with Kurt, his gaze questioning.

"What's wrong baby?" He said, in leu of good morning, when he saw tears in Kurt's eyes.

"Nothing." Kurt said, his voice shaky.

"Kurt." That tone caused tears to spill over onto Kurt's cheeks and Blaine brought his hand up to cup Kurt's cheek.

"I'm serious. Nothing is wrong. Everything is right and I'm just so grateful you are here and you are giving me a second chance to make everything right again."

Hearing those words brought a smile to Blaine's face, albeit a tentative one. As glad as he was to hear nothing was wrong, he needed to make sure Kurt know they were both getting a second chance.

"Kurt, we've both made mistakes over the past few years, ok? You forgave me and I forgive you. I think we've both known from the beginning that we would always be in each others lives. And now I am more sure than ever before that you are I are forever. I know that we'll make more mistakes in the coming years, but I think we've gotten all the bad ones out of the way early."

Kurt smiled at that, his eyes still wet with tears, but now because of Blaine's beautiful speech.

"You are so right. I know deep in my soul that you are my forever and I promise I will never let a day go by that I don't tell you or show you just how much I love you." Kurt leaned in and kissed Blaine just as the alarm went off, causing both of them to groan.

"I should probably get up and shower first. I have a longer drive than you do." Blaine said, reluctantly rolling out of bed and already missing Kurt's warmth. Kurt just hummed in response and watched Blaine move around his room, gathering up his clothes for the day before heading into the bathroom.

The boys moved through their morning routines fairly easily considering it was their first time, and they shared a long, drawn out kiss by their cars before heading out separately.

The day seemed to drag on endlessly for Blaine, the only bright spots were his texts back and forth with Kurt. Blaine was so incredibly happy but he was also already missing Kurt's presence, so his emotions felt all over the place. He couldn't wait to get home and pack up his stuff so he could move back in with Kurt permanently.

He was dreading telling his parents, though. They had never really supported him much during school, but had actually stepped up the last few months, helping him get back on his feet. But he worried they would not be happy he was getting back together with Kurt. They blamed him for everything Blaine had gone through, and he did too, at first. Now that they were talking again, he understood but he didn't think his parents wouldn't be so quick to forgive.

Blaine's mood had dropped considerably worrying about his parents reactions, so he decided to eat his lunch in his office. He did that more so in the beginning, but had been getting more social lately. He knew hiding in his office wasn't the best option, but he couldn't bring himself to care.

He had his head down as he walked in, tossing his bag in a chair before going behind his desk and plopping down. He pulled his lunch out of the drawer and sat it on his desk, startling when he noticed two large vases side by side on his desk. The first was filled with white and yellow tulips and the second contained red and white roses.

Blaine was so taken back, he almost didn't see the note propped up between the two vases. His hand shook as he opened the note, which he could already tell was in Kurt's handwriting. How had he managed that?

Blaine,  
I just wanted to say thank you again for allowing me back into your life. I was serious when I said I planned to show you how important you are to me. The only other time I remember giving you flowers was before you got Tony in West Side Story. After that, it was always you being the romantic one and I have to apologize for that. I promise to always remember to show you how amazing and wonderful you are.

These flowers were not chosen randomly either. The first vase contains tulips. The white ones signify forgiveness, because your's makes me incredibly grateful, while the yellow means hopelessly in love. That one really doesn't need an explaination, but suffice it to say I am now and forever will be hopelessly in love with you.

As for the roses, I know our go to is the red and yellow, but this time I went with the red and white, because while red means love and the white means new beginnings, and together, they mean unity. I love you and am ready to begin our new and improved relationship. We are in this together forever and I love you more now than ever.

I hope your day is going well and I can't wait until you get home tonight, so we don't have to be apart again.

Love,  
Kurt

Blaine sat back in his seat and just stared at the flowers, the note clutched in his hand and tears streaming down his face. This is the Kurt he remembered, the sweet and kind Kurt, the one that had been nonexistent these last few years. He knew he was ultimately the cause. Ever since he'd cheated, Kurt had pulled himself back and never really allowed Blaine back in, no matter how hard Blaine had tried.

Now it seemed Kurt was actually opening himself up again. He'd been a new person since he came back to town and Blaine couldn't be happier. He knew he would always love Kurt but after he'd broken up with and broken Blaine, he didn't think he'd ever get back to the person he was before.

But it appeared they both had changed thanks to many months of therapy. Blaine knew they were young when they met but with all they had been through in their lives, the bullying and homophobia, finding each other had been just what they needed.

There had never been a time before 6 months ago that he wasn't convinced he and Kurt were forever. Yes, he'd screwed up but when Kurt accepted his proposal, he'd thought nothing could come between them again. Looking back now he can clearly see the signs that led to their distruction.

He was just so incredibly grateful, after everything, that through all of the soul searching the two had done the last 6 months, in therapy and out, they realized they were so much better together.

He was still staring at the flowers, the smile never leaving his face, when he pulled out his phone to text his love.

'Thank you so much for the flowers. They are beautiful.' -B

'Not half as beautiful as you!' -K

'Kuuuurt...' -B

'I love you.' -K

'I love you too. So much.' -B

'I'm counting the minutes until you are finally back home and in my arms again...for good.' -K

Butterflies erupted in Blaine's stomach at the last message, and Blaine felt like he was 16 and was falling in love all over again.

'I'm never leaving again. I hope you know that. You are stuck with me forever now.' -B

'I wouldn't want it any other way. Seriously. This is it, us, forever. I've got to run. Hurry home baby.' -K

Blaine was still staring at his phone smiling when the afternoon bell rang, jolting him out of his musings. He just needed to get through the next few hours and he'd be back in Kurt's arms for good.

Telling his parents didn't go as badly as he expected. His mom took it a little better than his dad, who had never really liked Kurt to begin with. His mom was more worried than anything. She'd seen him at his worst and he knows as much as she loved Kurt, part of her still blamed him a little. But she also knew that the reason he was so hurt was because he still loved Kurt, so she told him she expected he and Kurt both over for dinner that weekend.

He was so emotionally exhausted by the time he pulled into the Hummel driveway later that night that he had to sit in the car for a moment so he didn't break down and cry the moment he saw Kurt. The last thing he wanted to do was freak Kurt out and make him worry that Blaine was having second thoughts. Things were going so well between them, but they were both still very raw and vulnerable and he knew Kurt would take his tears the wrong way.

Little did he know, Kurt had been waiting for him and was watching from the window, worrying anyway. In the five minutes he watched from inside, Kurt went through so many emotions, but eventually decided that he needed to just go to Blaine. He knew his boyfriend hated showing weakness and he also knew his parents had probably not taken Blaine's moving back in with Kurt well.

So instead of worrying that Blaine had changed his mind, (he was there, wasn't he), he opened the door and went outside to show his boyfriend how glad he was that Blaine was back.

A knock on the window startled Blaine and he jerked his head up, his eyes meeting Kurt's, and in that moment, Blaine felt all the exhaustion leave him and was overcome with a feeling of home.

Kurt saw Blaine's face go from confusion to grateful within seconds and he knew he made the right choice going after Blaine. He opened up the door and pulled Blaine out of the car and straight into his arms, a feeling of contentment spreading through him. Blaine held onto him tight and Kurt felt Blaine let out a breath, like he had been waiting to breathe until Kurt was there.

It was the cold that pulled them apart, Kurt forgetting to grab a jacket on his way out to get his boyfriend. He helped Blaine bring his few bags inside and up to his room. Once inside, Kurt closed the door, pushing Blaine up against it, claiming his mouth in a passionate kiss.

"I'm so glad you are here." He said, breathless from their kiss. "I missed being with you today."

"I know what you mean." Blaine said, kissing Kurt again and again. "It's like, now that were back together, I almost need to be near you. I-I, it's hard to explain, but..."

"I understand completely. I feel exactly the same way."

"You do?" The hint of surprise in Blaine's voice felt like a stab to Kurt's heart.

"Of course I do. God, Blaine, I was serious when I said I missed you. You own half of me. You always have. When you aren't around, I'm not whole. I spent a lot of time ignoring and pushing those feelings away, telling myself that I was the only person I needed, but I was so wrong. Yes, I'm my own person, but I need you like I need air."

Blaine quickly took Kurt's breath away, leaning up and attacking Kurt's mouth, hands roaming up and down Kurt's body, trying to touch every part of him at once. Kurt opened his mouth and allowed Blaine to map out the depths with his tongue and moaning when Kurt sucked said tongue, causing his hips to buck up, bringing their bodies together.

The sudden jolt they felt when their hips touched sent shock waves through them both, causing Kurt to push Blaine harder into the wall. The were so lost in each other that the knock on the door, which vibrated right behind Blaine's head, started them, causing Kurt to scream, his eyes wide, and almost black with arousal. They were breathing heavy when Burt's voice came from behind the door.

"Carole and I are headed to bed boys." He said, chuckling at Kurt's scream. He wasn't stupid. He knew he'd interrupted something. He turned when Carole smacked his arm, knowing exactly what he was doing. "Blaine, there are leftovers down in the fridge if you are hungry." He waited until he hear a faint, muffled thanks, and headed down the hallway. "Night boys." He said before closing the door to his own room, laughing to himself as Carole just shook her head.

"Oh my God." Blaine groan into Kurt's neck where he's buried his face when he realized his dad was standing just outside the door. Kurt laughed.

"Better get used to it, because I have a feeling he enjoys torturing us." Kurt pulled back and placed a soft kiss on Blaine's lips. "Come on. Let's go downstairs. You're probably hungry."

Blaine just nodded and took Kurt's outstretched hand, following him downstairs and into the kitchen.

"Now, sit and I'll warm you up dinner and you can tell me all about your day." Blaine smiled as he watched Kurt move around the kitchen with grace, reveling at how beautiful Kurt was.

"Well, it really sucked until around lunchtime when I got the most beautiful flowers..." The smile Kurt gave him when he turned around took his breath away.


	12. Coming Together Again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it! The final chapter! There will be an epilogue after this to finalize everything. I want to thank you for reading and hanging in there through all the angst and I hope this was an acceptable alternative to the mess that was Glee season 6.

It had been a week and Kurt and Blaine were settling into being them again. Kurt had been spoiling his boyfriend to death, sending him flowers twice and he also send him a cookie gram, which was of course Blaine's favorite, the boy loved to eat.

Yes, Kurt was so glad to have his boyfriend back again and he was happy with each moment they got to spend together.

The problem was that the two of them worked every day at different schools, and when they came home in the afternoons they had maybe an hour together before Kurt had to start dinner.

He loved his dad and Carol, he did, but he really missed having some alone time with Blaine. They had just gotten back together after six months of being apart. Sure they both agreed to take things slow, and they had, not getting much farther than kissing and some light touching in bed at night. Both of them were so tired by the end of the day that was pretty much all there was though.

Kurt hope for the weekend went out the window when it included a lot of family time, both his and Blaine's. Blaine's mom insisted they come over and spend time with them since Blaine was not staying with them anymore. The rest of the weekend was taken up by extra rehearsals due to the upcoming competitions for both glee club.

So by the following Monday, Kurt was frustrated beyond belief and begged his dad to take Carol to dinner and a movie on Tuesday. He planned to make a nice home-cooked meal. He hadn't done that in a very long time and he wanted to make it up to his boyfriend.

He had begged Rachel to let him take the afternoon off so he could go home and prepare dinner, so after he left McKinley, he headed straight to the grocery store to pick up all his essentials for a perfect evening.

He made Blaine's favorite, chicken parmesan with his famous home-made sauce and fresh grated mozzarella cheese. He also had a side of pasta, a salad, and cheesy garlic bread. He finished it off with tiramisu, which he had prepared the previous night after Blaine had gone to bed, so it could sit overnight.

Blaine pulled into the Hummel's driveway at his usual time, surprised to see that Burt's truck was missing. Carole and Kurt insisted Burt not work late anymore and join them for dinner every night. So when Blaine walked in, he expected to hear Kurt and Carole in the kitchen working on dinner, but he was met with silence. He hung his coat and bag up and headed into the kitchen, but stopped in his tracks when he passed though the dining room.

The lights were dimmed and there were candles lighting it up the rest of the way. The table was set for two and the smell was heavenly. Blaine's eyes were wide as they looked up to see Kurt walk in with two bowls of salad, a basket of bread resting on his arm. Kurt set the dishes down quickly and moved over to hug Blaine tightly.

"Hi baby. Welcome home."

"Hi." Blaine breathed, happy to be holding Kurt again after another long day. "What's all this?" Blaine asked when they parted, then leaned forward and placed a kiss on Kurt's awaiting mouth.

"This is a romantic dinner for just the two of us. I asked dad to take Carole out to dinner and a movie so we could have some much needed alone time." He leaned in to kiss Blaine once again. "God, I feel like we are never alone anymore and it's driving me crazy."

"You are the best boyfriend ever." Blaine said, pulling Kurt close again. He had to settle for a quick hug as Kurt pulled back and gestured toward the table.

"Let's eat." Kurt said, pulling Blaine's chair out for him. A blush crept up Blaine's cheeks at Kurt's chivalry and he felt a warmth spread through his body at the love he felt with such a small gesture.

Kurt disappeared into the kitchen and returned with their entrees. The two talked and ate and laughed until their plates were empty and tummies were full. Blaine helped Kurt rinse the dishes and put them into the dishwasher, then they both headed into the living room to settle on the couch.

Kurt planned for the two of them to watch a movie and cuddle on the couch, he really did, but when he looked over at Blaine's face, his features reflecting the light from the television, he just couldn't help himself. Within seconds he was straddling Blaine's lap and attacking his mouth, swallowing Blaine's gasp of surprise. It only took Blaine a second to catch up, his tongue tangling with Kurt's.

Blaine's hand couldn't stay still and neither could his mouth. One minute he was kissing Kurt and the next he was trailing open mouth kisses up and down Kurt's neck. Kurt had his arms over Blaine's shoulders and had a death grip on the back of the couch, trying to steady himself so he didn't grind into Blaine too much.

Things were becoming frantic and Kurt knew things would be over embarrassingly quick if he didn't slow things down. Plus, he wanted to take his time with Blaine. He needed to show Blaine how much he loved and missed him, so he took a deep breath and pulled back. He almost threw all his plans out the window after looking into Blaine's lust blown pupils and his mussed up hair. God he looked sexy.

Blaine didn't say anything but raised his eyebrows in question when Kurt slid back off Blaine's lap and stood up, but when Kurt held out his hand in invitation, Blaine smiled and allowed himself to be pulled up and led upstairs to Kurt's bedroom. Neither asked if it was okay, both of them knowing each other enough to understand their cues.

Clothes came off slowly, a definite contrast to the frantic nature of their make out session downstairs, and once they were naked, Kurt pushed Blaine back on the bed and proceeded to worship his boyfriend.

Kurt spent what felt like and eternity taking Blaine apart with his hands and mouth, mapping out every inch of his skin, finding the spots he knew drove Blaine crazy and finding a few more he didn't know about.

When Kurt finally finished his exploration, he captured Blaine's lips in a heated kiss. He pulled back then, needing see see Blaine and was blown away by the look of total adoration in his eyes. Kurt blinked back tears at the sight. He was so sure he would never get to be with Blaine again, let alone have him look at him like this.

When he blinked again, a year fell from his eye, landing on Blaine's cheek below, and he quickly wiped it away with his thumb before kissing Blaine's cheek where it had been.

"I love you so much." Blaine whispered. "Make love to me now, Kurt. Please. I can't wait another minute to be with you. I need to feel whole again. Please." Blaine begged and Kurt leaned down to kiss him gently in answer.

Because Kurt had taken his time with Blaine, he'd prepared him gently and thoroughly so no other prep was needed. All that was needed was a little lube for Kurt and he was lined up and ready to go.

When he pushed in, Blaine let out a small gasp, causing Kurt to pause.

"S-sorry. It's just been a long time. Go slow." Blaine said, turning his face away from Kurt.

"I'll go as slow as you need, baby." He leaned down and used his nose to nudge Blaine's face so he was looking at him again. Her took a deep breath, hoping he was right in assuming he understood what Blaine was saying. "It's been just as long for me."

The overwhelming look of relief passed through Blaine eyes as both boys admitted that they'd waited for each other, even though they'd been broken up for 6 months.

Kurt leaned down and claimed Blaine's mouth with his, wasting no time slid in his tongue and moaning. As he mapped out the inside of Blaine's mouth, he slowly pushed in, inch by inch, as he felt Blaine's body relax.

When he felt himself bottom out, he relaxed his body a little, laying most of his weight on Blaine and they both sighed.

"Oh God, Kurt. I missed you so much. I can't explain how it feels to finally have you here with me, in me. I feel whole again." He took a shaky breath and tried to calm himself down enough to let Kurt move, but he was so enjoying the fullness he thought he'd never feel again.

"I missed you too, baby, I missed you too." He pulled back just a little and surged forward slightly, giving Blaine time. The moan he got in response was enough for him to pull out more the next time. He set up a rhythm that was eventually met thrust by thrust by Blaine.

"Kurt, yes, oh, yes. Please don't ever leave me again." He whispered, and Kurt saw a tear escape his eye and slide down into his hair, the sight tugging at Kurt's heart.

"Never, I promise. It's only you, Blaine. It always had been. I love you, I love you, I love you." Each I love you was followed by a kiss to a different part of Blaine's face, and Kurt noticed more tears leak out of Blaine's eyes. "I'm not hurting you am I?" He asked softly.

Blaine's eyes shine with love and he smiled brightly. "You are far from hurting me. I just feel so overwhelmed. I feel like my soul is finally content. Like I'm home."

"You are, baby. We both are." Kurt kissed Blaine again, and this one turned passionate quickly. Kurt's thrusts began to get shorter and faster as they both reached their limits.

Their orgasms crashed over them simultaneously, both of them breathing heavily and holding onto each other for dear life.

Kurt pulled out and collapsed next to Blaine, not wanting to fall on him, but Blaine wasn't willing to give up the contact, so he rolled with Kurt, plastering himself against Kurt's side, still hold on him tightly, as if he was afraid Kurt would disappear.

"God, I missed that so much." Blaine said, the first to break the silence of the room. Kurt chuckled.

"Me too. Just give me a few minutes and you can show me how much." Kurt said, his voice still husky.

"Kurt. You keep talking like that and it won't take that long." Blaine breathed into Kurt's neck, placing kisses wherever he could reach.

Even though they'd literally just finished, Kurt felt himself growing hard again, and he tried to roll Blaine back over, but was stopped by Blaine.

"My turn." Was all he said as he threw his leg over Kurt's hips, bringing their half hard cocks together again, causing them both to moan.

"Then by all means." Kurt said breathily when Blaine rocked his hips down and he began kissing Kurt's neck and check, leaving mark after mark.

"I'd forgotten how much I like seeing you with my mark all over you." Blaine growled, sucking yet another spot on Kurt's chest. Kurt lost all thought then as Blaine moved down his body, leaving his mark all over.

The second time was a little more frantic but still as passionate, and both boys were spent by the end, but they dragged themselves out of bed to shower, knowing they would be more comfortable later, and also not wanting to get caught by Burt and Carole, who were due home later.

After a third time in the shower they collapsed together in fresh sheets and were tangled up on the verge of sleep when they heard Burt and Carole return.

Kurt knew his dad wouldn't bother them, but he was still happy they'd had the house to themselves for so long.

He felt Blaine snuggle up a little closer behind him (he insisted on being the big spoon tonight), and felt his breath in his ear.

"I love you, Kurt. Sweet dreams."

"Kurt pulled Blaine's arms just a little tighter around him and whispered back. "I love you too, baby."

They were asleep within seconds.


	13. Happily Ever After

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is...the end. It's been a long journey and I appreciate everyone sticking with me (and the boys) through it all. I hope this was a good and more real alternative to the debacle that was Season 6. Thanks for reading!

Epilogue

Happily Ever After

During the next two months, Kurt and Blaine continued to grow separately and together. They gave each other space when needed, but they were both so incredibly happy to be in each others lives again, the space consisted of them working in separate places. When they were both home together, they were like magnets, gravitating toward each other.

Kurt kept his promise of telling and showing Blaine each and everyday how important he was and how happy he was that they were together again. They both continued with their therapy, intent on keeping their relationship strong. And their communication was better than ever. Every night during their skin care routine, they talked about their day and how they were both feeling.

Blaine's family was slowing accepting Kurt again Kurt apologized to them (Blaine insisted it wasn't necessary, but Kurt was adamant). He sat down and explained to them that he had been scared and young and even though he had known Blaine was the one, he was stupid and ran. They accepted his apology, albeit tentatively, and were trying to show their support by helping them find another place to live in New York.

Kurt knew he and Blaine could not move back into the loft. There were too many memories, good and bad, and they both needed a fresh start, so he and Blaine spent time on the weekends going through ads for apartments online. They found one and with the help of Blaine's parents, rented it for 6 months with an option to buy after a year.

It was a week before they were scheduled to move back to New York when Blaine got a curious text.

'Hey baby, can you pick me up today? I have to stay a little late and don't have my car.' -K

'Sure, although I'm wondering why you don't have your car...' -B

'Dad took it into the shop today and Rachel picked me up. Sorry if it's a bother.' -K

'You are never a bother, babe. I can be there by 5:30. Is that too early?' -B

'It's perfect. See you soon. Love you.' -K

'Love you too.' -B

When Blaine pulled up outside the school, there were only a handful of cars in the parking lot and he didn't see Kurt, so he pulled out his phone.

'I'm here.' -B

'I'm still working on something. Would you mind meeting me in the courtyard?' -K

Blaine's brow furrowed. Why would he need to meet him in the courtyard and not the choir room. He was sure Kurt was up to something but he had no idea what, so he got out of the car and headed into the school. As he walked the path that led him to the courtyard, he allowed himself to reminisce about his time here at McKinley. The first year he'd been here was magical. Being in the same school as Kurt was amazing and wonderful, until the end of the year when he realized Kurt would be leaving.

Of course he knew it was coming, but the realization that he would be there alone the next year was a resounding blow. He'd given up the safety and security of Dalton (and he didn't regret it), but he was worried about the next year without Kurt.

And his fears came to fruition at his own hand. He screwed up. He couldn't handle the separation. He made the biggest mistake of his life. And he'd never felt more alone.

He stopped outside the choir room and looked in, thinking back over all the songs shared in that room and smiled. They had been through hell and back in and out of that room and were stronger now because of it.

His phone vibrating in his pocket scared him, bringing him out of his memories. He pulled his phone out and saw Kurt's text.

'Are you coming?' -K

'Sorry, got lost reminiscing. Be right there.' -B

He imagined Kurt smiling when he read his text. Blaine had a tendency to lose time when he took his walks down memory lane, and Kurt never missed an opportunity to tease him about it.

Blaine was thinking about that when he opened the door to the courtyard, and when he looked around, searching for Kurt, he was taken back and came to a halt still holding the door in surprise.

There was Kurt sitting on a blanket in the middle of the step, holding flowers, with a picnic basket beside him. His smile faltered a moment when Blaine stopped, but came back in full force when he saw Blaine's pleasantly surprised face.

Kurt stood up and held out the flowers as a gesture for him to come over and Blaine's feet were moving even before he realized what was happening. He came to a stop in front of Kurt and took the offered flowers, sticking his nose in and taking a deep breath.

"So, this looks familiar." Blaine says, smiling. "And the flowers are a nice touch." Kurt smiled back and he saw a slight blush cover his cheeks.

"Sit." Is all he said back, gesturing toward the blanket. Blaine sat down, laying the flowers on the ground behind the picnic basket. Kurt then began to pull out a spread that must have taken him hours to put together. There were cheese cubes and crackers, grapes, strawberries, mini chicken salad sandwiches, Kurt's famous chocolate chip cookies (Blaine's personal favorite), and champagne.

For the next 30 minutes, the two shared food, feeding each other grapes and laughing about anything and everything, both just happy to be there together.

"So, should I be expecting a band to come out now that we are finished?" Blaine asked jokingly, as he helped Kurt put the empty containers away. Kurt smiled but remained silent as he continued to clean up. Once everything was put away Kurt pushed the picnic basket back and turned to face Blaine.

"Blaine," He started, and his voice cracked, prompting Blaine to turn fully toward him and take his hand, concern showing in his eyes. "Sorry." Kurt said, taking a deep breath and closing his eyes briefly, trying to center himself.

"What is it?" Blaine asked, his voice unsure, and Kurt's eyes flew open, locking his gaze with Blaine's.

"The last time we were here, we were getting back together as boyfriends, and this time I was hoping we could get back together as fiancées." Blaine's eyes widened and his mouth dropped open as Kurt turned and got on one knee in front of him. "Blaine, I know we've been here before and we've only been back together for a couple months but you and I are different people now, and I just want you to know,, beyond the shadow of a doubt that I love you and want to spend the rest of my life with you." He then reached into the picnic basket and pulled out a box (there was no way it was fitting in his skin tight jeans), opening it up to reveal a beautiful platinum band with intricate designs etched all around.

Blaine was still sitting there, staring. He knew Kurt had changed, but never in a million years did he think Kurt would be the one to propose. He knew he wanted to be engaged again, but was waiting until they were settled in New York. He didn't want to push Kurt this time. But here was Kurt, on one knee in front of him, with a ring, oh God.

"So, Blaine Anderson, my amazing friend, my one true love, will you marry me?" Blaine let out something between a laugh and a sob at hearing his words said back to him. He sat up quickly, shaking his head and scrambling to his knees.

"Yes, yes, oh God, yes, Kurt, of course I will marry you." Blaine babbled, pulling Kurt toward him and into a searing kiss.

As soon as his lips touched Blaine's he sagged against him, letting out a big breath through his nose, because his mouth was otherwise occupied. He hadn't realized how worried he was until he heard Blaine actually say yes. Hearing that just brought everything full circle and he finally felt at peace.


End file.
